I'm over him.

[elephantgirl]

My ex boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago and I'M OVER HIM.

This is completely out of character for me. I'm that pathetic girl who writes about an ex boyfriend after the "closure" has happens 5 times now. I don't just get over a guy this quickly, I hold onto them for years until I find someone new to miss and cry about (disgusting I know). While I was dating my current ex boyfriend, there was of course a guy that was always on my mind that I couldn't get over. I really loved the guy I was with but one day I saw my ex walking with another girl and I freaked out and cried. I felt awful for my reaction and knew that it was time to let go and take some SERIOUS action. 2014 came and as a resolution decided once and for all I am going to get over him! We have been on and off again for the past 7 years. Getting over him took a lot of therapy(met with her once a month), self-awareness, being honest with myself and getting over some serious insecurities. I found out I wanted approval from him, approval that I was enough. Then I thought why is this guy's opinion of me matter more than my opinion of myself. That's what I learned that I didn't really love myself, even though I claimed I did. I blocked his number and got honest and did some soul searching. I recently saw him out on a date with a girl and I didn't burst into tears, this was HUGE for me, I just didn't care.

So, after that glorious victory I found myself 2.5 weeks into this new break-up with my current boyfriend. We took a break in March, because I needed more time to focus on me and get over my issues. At the end of March, he realized that he is also lost and needs to focus on figuring out who he is. I was pretty upset, I never thought we would break up because we were so wonderful together. I read everything I could online about how to get over a break up. I followed the advice religiously, I am doing the NCR, I did pros & cons, I felt every emotion, I went for walks ect. Then when I saw the guy I was obsessed with for 7 years and felt nothing (even though he was on a date with another girl) i felt f**king liberated. If I can get over that guy then getting over my current boyfriend shouldn't be hard and that's when it happened! (With months of therapy, working on my insecurities and being honest with myself) I just stopped giving a f*** about my current ex boyfriend, about our past relationship, about what he's doing now ect.

You know, I want a love where I am not an option. I want a love where a guy doesn't so easily doubt me. I want someone who won't give up on me just as much as I wouldn't give up on them. So, to think that I just got dumped makes me not sad because I thought our love was different. I thought I was more important to him and seeing that I'm not, well, not worth my time. I will find someone who will never let me go, I know it. And now, I want to work on myself to be that amazing girl that this amazing guy will fall in love with because I'm not her right now and I wasn't her in my last relationship.

I just don't care anymore. I loved him, he loved me, we had a great relationship, we were open and honest with each other but at the end of the day, he wasn't the one for me. It's the little things (breathing loud, not brushing his teeth, ADD) and the big things ( having a career, smart with money, smart overall) that I realized what I want and don't want in someone. I found myself at the beginning of the break-up, resistant, that I didn't want to believe that he wasn't going to be the one and that I had to be single and alone, haha. A part of me felt hurt over the rejection but now I appreciate it because I know my ex knows himself pretty well and if he felt the relationship wasn't going to last, I believe him (plus, I had felt that way too for a bit).

I find girls hold onto the anger, the rejection, the being single... TOO much. Take the break up as the greatest opportunity for you to become the right person instead of being sad that you lost what you thought was the "right person" for you. It's an adventure to self love to find your ultimate guy. Another thing that I realized during this break up is, that I wasn't the best me I could be, I was a good girlfriend but I wasn't a great girlfriend, you know the kind of girlfriend I want to effortlessly be. The happy person you are ultimately wanting to be, I wasn't her and it was clear I was never going to be her in this relationship. So now, I can honestly say I am happier single because I am being the happy me I have wanted to be, I feel liberated and free. The idea of meeting a guy who makes my heart flutter, who is smart and tall(haha) is exciting and I can't wait for it.

I guess my point is, is that if I can get over a break-up, especially a guy I claimed to have loved for 7 years and my current ex who is no word of a lie the most amazing person I have ever met, then you girls can and I hope I gave some insight that'll help you with your break up!

[KingZ]

Ugh, talking elephants...