Alternate ways

[handito]

Hi, I am new to this forum so please bear with me if it is not in the right section.
3 months ago my girlfriend and I mutually agreed to end a 5 year relationship.
It was an amicable separation and we still remain friends, the spark had just faded.
Anyway, we had a talk the other day going through our relationship and among many issues was our sex life. This however saddens me a lot due to the fact that I am in a wheelchair and therefore am unable to do a lot of positions in bed. I am however fairly good at oral and when she is on top things are also fine. The thing that really hurt me though was that I agreed with her, I mean, normally people would react with anger or say F**** Off and find someone else, but I could only agree with her. Anyway, I really do not want to come across as a victim or anything and there were many other issues that did not have anything to do with my disability complicating our relationship. I grew distant to her and focused more on my career as a musician so in the end I was by no means the best boyfriend.
As I mentioned above I am a musician and therefore my whole life is based around creativity, besides the creativity involved in composing music and writing songs I also have to be creative in my way of doing things. I am the drummer in my band and therefore I have learned to go other ways and invent and build drum sets that work for me. The other day I had an epiphany and I realized how far I had managed to succeed in my musical life by simply just being open about it. Sharing ideas with band mates and tech guys on how to make a set up that works for me, and I realized that by being open and seeking advice I had progressed and made a style and sound that was totally my own. To take things back to the relationship side of things I also thought, if I tried to find new ways and methods of being intimate with a partner it might also take that side of me to a new level. I mean, I have accepted my disability in the way that I know I can not make love to a woman in the ordinary missionary positions and I am not moaning about that but instead I need to create other ways and my own personalized methods of "being a man". Therefore I need to ask all you wonderful ladies on your opinion. Would you be alright with using various toys and trying different ways of doing things. I am sorry that I can not be more specific about the actual things yet as I simply have not invented them but anyway, would it be too weird to use toys, vibes and weird customized stuff in the bed room or is it OK? Anyway, I hope this stream of thoughts made somewhat sense.

[smackie9]

You should be looking for a forum that is specifically for people who live their life in a wheel chair. Speaking with others that are in your position can shed some light, and help you more with what you are looking for.

As for trying differnt things, you are just going to have to find the right woman that will be very open to explore other options on getting off.

[Satina]

but anyway, would it be too weird to use toys, vibes and weird customized stuff in the bed room or is it OK? Anyway, I hope this stream of thoughts made somewhat sense.

I think it's great that you care and are thoughtful about your partner's needs, and also that you're able to use your creativity in all aspects of life. But maybe you'll meet a girl who has simple needs in bed and who won't require anything more. If there is a need for more, then I don't see anything wrong with suggesting new creative ways for two people's enjoyment. But you know, it really depends on the girl. Some would love, some could freak out at the idea.

[handito]

Hey.
Thanks a lot for the replies.
I was not really sure what I actually was asking for as I probably just wanted to share my thoughts, but anyway, thanks a lot

[chinagirl]

Hey Handito, if you find the woman that you are sexually compatible with and is open to the idea of using toys and sexual gadgets, I see nothing wrong with that. I think that some women are open into anything that can please them and their man.

Good luck.

[Wakeup]

but anyway, would it be too weird to use toys, vibes and weird customized stuff in the bed room or is it OK? Anyway, I hope this stream of thoughts made somewhat sense.

They sell billions of sex toys a year so I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be "weird" I think if you're confident in what you're doing and what you're using then it will be just fine with anyone who is cool with being with someone with a disability.

Good for you!

[lovecarey]

I am disabled and I have great sex life...that makes you make...