Break up but maybe in the future...

[Carl Bowman]

My girlfriend of 27 broke up with me. I'm 32.
We've been together for a year. 3 months ago we almost broke up, because she felt i don't love her. We made up and went on. The first weeks everything was great again. But then it went downhill again up until now.

The problem is she nags a lot, and i take this personaly. So i shut up and don't give her affection anymore. Because i don't give affection, she nags. And so on...

So this makes her jump conclusions that i don't love her. But I do!! I'm really devestated about it.
I really love this woman. It's the first time in my life i have the feeling i want to spend the rest of my life with her.
She also has a kid of 3 years old. He loves me. He will be really sad when she tells him I'm not coming home.

She said that at this point, she doesn't feel it anymore, and she thinks if we continue the same problems will keep pushing us apart. Maybe in the future, if she's certain i can give her all the love she needs, we might get back together. She also said: Maybe in the future, i will feel sick for being so stupid to let you go. But at this moment, i just can't anymore.

How to deal with this? We were planning on moving to a new house. So now she's moving alone. But she asked if i would like, i could help her do the painting, move,... She also said that if the kid misses me too much, we could do fun stuff together.

Thanks for you advice.

[smackie9]

How to do this??? Clear concise communication. She nags at you because you are not understanding what she needs from you, and you shut down because you have become resentful, but you don't tell her why you shut down so you both just sit their assuming.....this is why relationships fall apart, because you two don't know how to communicate.

I suggest you two sit down and have a thorough discussion about expectations, plans, feelings, and point of views. Clear the air. Talk about her nagging, and how it makes you feel, but also ask what is she expecting of you in order to stop the nagging. You probably will have to have more than one discussion on these matters, especially about the future. I would most certainly expect answers before investing your time, helping her with the painting etc to avoid being used....and for heaven sakes don't fall for any bs if she starts to pull the kids misses you card. I would be wary if she starts using the kid as leverage.