What the heck?? THE SIGNS ARE THERE!!

[gsmith49]

I was dating this guy for a tad over 6 months. He was AMAZING for 5 months and 3 weeks of this relationship! We always talked through our problems which were few and far between.

Approximately, two weeks ago, we had a minor miscommunication and didn't talk for about 16 hours or so. Well, come to find out he went out until 3 am. When I asked if he was good, he said he came home alone. He was EXTREMELY distant while speaking with him (which he acknowledged) and pretty much stared at sales ads the whole time. He said he had a lot on his mind.

The whole next week things were up and down. So hot and cold that I knew wasn’t imagining things. So I finally confronted him because I couldn’t handle it anymore. The first half of the conversation was filled with “I don’t know” and stuff that made no sense. He didn’t know if he loved me, Facebook drama, etc.

I handled it so well. I gave him his house key while telling him I respect his feelings and just want him to be happy. All this made his demeanor change instantly. He started crying and saying what if that’s not what I want. And how he doesn’t know if he can go without talking to me or touching me ever again! I stood my ground.
Now, normally I wouldn’t have ended a relationship over something like this (I would have given him time/space) however, I know he cheated on his ex wife and ex girlfriends. I also think he has a sex addiction which was an issue with us at the beginning of the relationship.

Anyhow, long story short! I told him he would never hear from me again which I intended to hold true to – THEN the next day my aunt died. His response was normal…caring. He left on vacation with his girls shortly after and should be back any day. Haven’t heard from him since. I sent him a very brief text saying if you ever wanna talk, I’m here. Nothing!!!

So now what?? Obviously I am not initiating any contact with him. I just don’t get it!! Someone please help me attempt to understand what is going on because he certainly isn’t willing.

[smackie9]

He cheated on you, why are you still hanging on? Yes he cheated....when behavior changes quickly, it's a no brainer something happened. He F'd up.

[gsmith49]

I don't think I'm hanging on.. Part of me thinks that MAYBE he would admit to it and I would have closure. Probably will never happen. I wouldn't doubt if this wasn't the first time and his guilt just got the best of him OR if he knew I would find out this time. Sooooo... The inevitable question.. Why do they cheat?

[smackie9]

People cheat for different reasons. He is the only one that can answer why he does.

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Anyways you are picking on this like a scab.....you won't heal if you keep picking at it.

[gsmith49]

People cheat for different reasons. He is the only one that can answer why he does.

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Anyways you are picking on this like a scab.....you won't heal if you keep picking at it.

True.. I guess it's time to let go and heal