What to do? Or is it 2 late?

[Anon19822]

I know this sounds bad but please help me with this i don't know anymore...

3 months ago i met my gf somewhere random, we started talking online and i just came out of a relationship. All was very happy and i was in the clouds!

We skype talked and got along very well. I discovered she was from a nearby country and i thought it would be special the thing we had. I never really bothered online for a girl i was just amusing myself with music and a video game here and there thats how we got along so well.. and she came along to brighten my love life. it was all good so i thought..But i did not panticipate what was coming next... Our first date was cool and we made out and more...I came a bit ill so the last days i could not do much...she did not like this and felt like a host instead of a gf... Once i got home i explained the next day i got ill and had to go to the doctor for it...She did not understand why i did not tell her...But i was so down i could not and pretended i was ok cause i did not want to ruin our days...But thats exactly what it did by not telling her...

I suggested a re meet in several months and she agreed at first...She needed some time though...I asked friends what to do and with the wrong advice i kept asking her until she had enough..I was stupid and did not gave her time at all my behavior has drawn her away she said...i was heart broken... Now i lost most contact but i am still head over heels and torn about my mistakes!

I am a very kind guy in general and i did not know what i did wrong...i dont care for the internet at all much i spend barely an hour a day.. but she does obviously..i dont know..

2 days ago we had a sort of funny text conversation and we played a fun game for once to break the tension..I do not want to be just a gaming buddy though...But as she requested i left her alone for days...No talk nothing..

Maybe im stupid but im madly in love with this woman still and i know i can make it all better in a second meet when im not sick or anything...I think it is a sort of last try...But i dont know how or when should i text her to keep contact anymore.. I think i am at my last straw here anyway..i tried so much.. I lost all hope...And i think it's probably over but i dont want to give up just yet! Does that make sense? Or should i just leave it

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I appologized for everythin putting the blame entirely on myself and asked for a re meet, i am so nervous awaiting response its killing me...make or break.

[smackie9]

You are killing yourself over a girl you met once. Online relationships do not hold much water, and usually fall apart because there is little you can do to hold them together. I feel it's the distance that is making her have second thoughts. It's too difficult to have a relationship, without physical contact. If someone there comes along, she is going to ditch you because he would be more convenient. The only way to have this work is that you relocate to where she lives, if this isn't possible, it ain't gonna happen.

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My tip is you should never be too emotionally invested in a situation like this. You are going over board with your emotions, and now you are just a puddle of mush which is so unattractive, and may be a total turn off for her.

[Anon19822]

Shehast been in relationship for 5 years...cause she did not meet the right guy...it feels special and exciting to get to know another country and all...and more special if we meet every few months...thats why i like it really...im fine handling stuff on my own and my own friends...that will merge in the future if it last

I got positive feedback from her...it made her smile but shes having a crazy work day right now so cant discuss much but we are talking again! Somehow i knew this was not worth giving up and it worked with the right words.

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thank for your reply btw.

[Lord Darkshire]

Best of luck, come again, we will be here.

[Wakeup]

Shehast been in relationship for 5 years...cause she did not meet the right guy...it feels special and exciting to get to know another country and all...and more special if we meet every few months...thats why i like it really...im fine handling stuff on my own and my own friends...that will merge in the future if it last

I got positive feedback from her...it made her smile but shes having a crazy work day right now so cant discuss much but we are talking again! Somehow i knew this was not worth giving up and it worked with the right words.

oh, brother!

[Anon19822]

At home but worked for 2 days long hours...But still no talky to me..She already fell asleep i think I will approach her again later to get my question answered if theres a vague answer im not gonna invest time or feelings in this anymore. I've tried so much now and there's nothing in return. The awfull thing for me is she made me head over heels in love and now she basiclly isn't interested anymore...it fells quite awfull to be honest. It's a rollercoaster last night i thought it was going to be better but now im back to square one again... friggin women will i ever udnerstand them haha.


I feel like a dummy asking again tbh shes online but no attempt to talk to me about it...whatsoever...bad vibes..im even nervous to approach her now...why...just why...she knows how i feel...sorry's and i miss you's are not enough obviously...

[michelle23]

Why are you wasting time on a girl who lives in a different country? Are you really prepared for a relationship with no real affection, intimacy, sex, spending all your time online practically talking to a robot? Would you not rather a real life gf who you can see regularly and have all the benefits that go with it?

[Anon19822]

I do honestly, but i fell in love with this girl, i know what you are trying to say.

I left a 2 year relationship a year ago, then she came along... I don't mind seeing eachother once every 2 months and such...She had to leave again for work...doing 12 hours yesterday and today..no answer lol she was in a rush.


But i get your point Michelle , totally, she is not a robot but busy with work at the moment, although i am getting tired of waiting for an answer here...it's the last straw..but i keep saying that...

I got lingered in by her and now that i in love i feel like i am being played with...It probably wont do a thing.

[HeartIsAching]

Oh brother...

[michelle23]

Your not in love. You are merely infatuated... there is a big difference. Soo what are you going to do when you get all insecure and afraid shes f**king other men? Or what if you cant bear the lonlieness in 6months time and meet a local girl who ticks all the boxes?

Ive been on this forum awhile and trust me, long distance relationships don't work. Too many trust issues, insecurity, jealousy, lies, cheating, affairs..

There is no way you can meet any real needs of a relationship if you only see other every 2 months. People crave love, closeness, quality time, affection, sex, good conversation..

What are you going to do in a month when you run out of things to talk about and you spend an hour online trying to fill the awkward, boring silence?

This is just a fantasy-it has no basis in reality. How long are you going to sit by your computer waiting for her to reply?
Theres billions of women in the world. You could easily find someone closer to home and avoid all this drama

[Anon19822]

Im not jealous of anything at all she hasnt been in a relationship for years, would you really think she'd pay me a ticket to come across just to get laid? Been on several love forums and see a lot of LDR's and they work out fine.

I can bare months without, 6 months? why the hell would it be 6 months shes in england im in holland theres no reason for 6 months...

I dont spend hours online either, i have a full time job...im sick atm so im home and cant do much...all im doing is trying to make it work for us but from her side i dont get jack...


she was chasing my @ss in the beginning and now im just being put on a wire by her being in love with her...it is nasty...i agree with you one some things but saying it wouldnt work i shouldnt have started in the first place

i thought i fell in love with a loving woman but this is getting nasty from her side now not mine...what a weirdo...never again thanks for the reply tho you have some good points.

[Anon19822]

Just a few days then im back to work, and school also and i wont be much around online anyway...She was chasing my butt in the beginning online getting me skype to talk to wanting to talk every night..

Now im giving us a second try and she's too lazy to type even...or give it any thought at all i think...Told her ill text her tomorrow for a bloody answer..if not...im gonna remove her from anything.

She has a daughter and all but i seriously wonder whats going on in her little head...this person aint right in her mind i think tbh..5 years without a relationship now i know why..incapable to commit or attach i think... Made no effort to connect with me anyway i would want to do it different and all thats just me...but i think ive been played with..

She fooled me having no expectations she said bringing me over, then figured i wasnt material she just ignored me..

I think im pretty much an idiot yeah and you're right lol. Im just gonna assume shes tired for tonight and text her tomorrow..if theres another lame excuse she can find herself some other idiot to date.