Hey there, I need some male opinions on a friendship my husband has with a single woman he works with. A few month ago, this single woman saw my husband in the OR and was hitting on him b/c he was cute and she thought he was available. She told him this and he later told me this. Not sure how long after the initial contact she found out he was married and also that they had known each other many years ago. With that being said they decided to continue a platonic friendship. So now they eat lunch together 2-3 times a week either at work or off campus and sometimes she meets him for lunch on her days off, they text during the day and evenings quite a bit, they have phone conversations when I am not around, and have met outside of work 3 times to do things together in the last few weeks. One time was for lunch while I was at a baby shower, another time he went to dinner with her and her friend on a Friday night and then went to one of their houses to hang out while I was out of town, and the first time she invited him over after he left work late one night to eat dinner. He didn’t call me to tell me he was going over there b/c he said he was famished and forgot. I found out b/c I found him over there. Needless to say, I was really pissed about this last meeting which actually was the first outside of work social encounter that I am aware of. I felt like he should have called me and two, the woman should have made some attempt to reach out and say sorry I didn’t know, etc. He told me later that she was pissed at him b/c he made her feel like the other woman but she still made no attempts to say hey sorry, etc to me.
So this friendship has been going on for a few months and neither he nor she has made any attempts to meet me, the wife. My husband has said he wanted us to meet, etc but that hasn’t happened yet. So the next thing that really makes me wonder what is going on is that the text messages she sends, or at least the few that I have seen b/c he doesn’t know why I want to read them and deletes them pretty consistently, some of the things in there I feel are inappropriate to be saying to a married man. My husband thinks I am reading into them and am just insanely jealous.
So here is the banter on Friday night and Sunday evening this past weekend:
Friday night: She says” I wish you could hang out with me tonight” he says “that would be great” and she says “indeed”
Sunday night: he sends her a link to something about an art exhibit and she says “I was just thinking about you.” Then she sends him a picture of the sunset and says “just got in from laying in my hammock. You should be with me. Dinner was awesome. I hate cooking dinner for one. =(“
So give me your thoughts, I think the relationship has gotten to an inappropriate level, my husband says I don’t know her and that I am reading into it, and that I’m insanely jealous.