Hi Everyone,
So here is my dilemma… My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years now. He had been in a marriage previously with a woman he had gone to college with and was with her in total of 12 years (no kids). We started dating 5 months after they had filed for a legal separation (I was not aware of his situation until after we had been on a few dates). So I have been through it all with him, to changing his ex-wife’s address, to throwing her shit out, to her crying back to him, and to her not wanting to sign the divorce papers. The list could go on.
So now here it is 4 years later and she still manages to pop back up into our lives. Long story short they were both part of a sorority and fraternity that is linked in some way. So when it comes time for events and parties etc, it is always their specific houses that would get together, even years later after graduation. The last event that my boyfriend went to without me (might I add) and saw his ex-wife for the first time after all the divorce drama. He comes home telling me that it was good to see her and feels like a brick has been lifted from his chest. He was glad that they were able to be civil with each other. The next day his ex-wife texted him saying “It was great to see you and I hope we can be friends.” He told me that he never responded to her text and to just ignore it. However, when I ask about the situation he tends to get a little defensive telling me that it is none of my business and that he doesn’t ask me about my ex-boyfriends.
This whole situation is eating me up inside. Since my boyfriend decided to “shit where he eats” I now have the privilege of seeing not only his ex-wife but all the other skanks he slept with at the sorority house on a regular basis. So this means all of his guy friend’s weddings, college events, parties, etc. How can his past possibly remain in the past, if it is always relevant?
I feel disrespected in this relationship due to his ongoing relationships he has with these women he was once intimate with. I wish he would tell them off in a tasteful way, but I don’t think he is in a position, nor wants to do so. I have never been part of a sorority so I cannot relate well to his situation. But I am the type that once that door closes there is no reason to re-open it, as well as closing the doors to unhealthy relationships in my life.