And I know this will sound stupid and petty to a lot of people, but it happens so frequently that it's started to really get me down a feel insecure in my relationship.
The same scenario has been playing out time and time again: I give an opinion or recommendation to my boyfriend when he asks for one and it gets shot down. That wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that if one of his buddies makes the same observation or gives the same advice as me he takes it on board straight away and forgets that I have said the same exact thing previously.
Sometimes these can be opinions on big important subjects, but more often than not silly irrelevant subjects. And I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen all the time.
I'll give two examples from this month.
1.Last weekend he had a couple of old buddies coming in from out of town and was planning what to do over the weekend. He asked about places to eat and I suggested that they could go eat at a new grill place which had opened up a few months back. I'd been there with a few friends and told him it was really great food and they even had one of those man vs food challenges I thought some of his guy friends from back home would really enjoy. He immediately shot the idea down saying it sounded ‘stupid’. When his friends came he asked where they fancied eating- one of them mentioned they’d been to this grill place before when visiting their brother and how awesome it was. My boyfriend immediately agreed with him and said it sounded great. So they went and he loved it, completely forgetting I’d suggested it before and he’d shot me down.
2.Two months ago my boyfriend had been bored and fancied watching a new TV show and asked if I had any ideas. I suggested one I’d started to watch and how funny it was, although the ads didn’t do it justice. He said it looked ‘dumb’ and not like something he’d enjoy. I tried to convince him he would (I’ve been with him 3 years and generally know what he will and won’t like). Then this week I went over to his apartment and he’d bought the boxset from amazon. I asked him about it and he said that his friend from work watched it and told him how hilarious it was so he ordered the first season DVD’s straight away without even watching an episode before. He started talking about how great it was, forgetting he’d shot me down AGAIN.
We have been together for 3 years and he never used to be like this (that I can remember) and it seems to have developed in the last 6-8 months. Honestly it's started to put me off expressing an opinion to him, even when he asks for one, because of how terrible it makes me feel to be continually put down for it. I don't understand why my opinion seems to be valued so much lower than everybody elses in his eyes. And I'm not sure how to approach this with him, or if I should, because I know how petty the examples sound on their own. But this situation has been recurring a LOT in the past few months and it's gone beyond a few isolated examples and into a full pattern now.