MY EX IS DEPRESSED... and he was the one who broke up with me.

[elephantgirl]

My ex is sad we broke up. He has been crying, breaking down, screaming and wanting to break things. He has been depressed and drinking a lot the past month.

The funny thing is, is that he broke up with me AND he doesn't want to get back together. What is his deal?

We met up a couple days ago because he had to pick stuff up from me. We talked and he was really impressed with how well I've been dealing with the break-up. I told him I am doing good, of course it is sad sometimes but I'm not mad and understand the situation. He tells me he feels AWFUL for breaking up with me and hates himself for dumping "such a great girl". Then he went on to say how I wasn't the one.

Okay...why are you crying about this, then? The girl you broke up with is fine and you decided she's not the one. I feel he needs to go on a pity party to make himself feel better and deal with this morally (****grammar). Stop feeling guilty about something that is a non-issue. It's been a month and I asked him again to give me some more clarity on why he didn't want to work this out and what was wrong with our relationship that he didn't want to continue it. He couldn't answer that. He didn't have an answer. The only thing he could say is that I wasn't the one and he felt he was holding me back from something better/someone better.

It kind of pisses me off that he is taking this so hard when in the end he didn't lose anything, because I wasn't THE ONE, I'm just some girl he dated for a year...we had a great relationship, open, honest, we had fun together ect.
He is feeling a lot of pressure right now to make a decision with his life, like go to school, decide on a career a lot of pressure to start living life and I guess I was the first thing to go. I feel so disposable.

Oh, oh, he also said "Sometimes I just worry about you like... what if you don't find someone like me, again?" and I replied with, "That's kinda the point... because in the end you gave up on me."


What do you guys think?

Also, I just like to state he is not a mean/bad guy.

[KingZ]

What's so hard to understand about this? Just because you're the one choosing the end the relationship doesn't mean you can't feel just as bad, if not worse, than if you were on the other side of things.

He's obviously distressed about such an enormous life change that involves losing someone he was so close to. It probably took balls for him to end a relationship he sounds like he was happy with, just because he knew inside that it wasn't right.

"Why are you crying about this, then?" - kind of makes you an asshole.

[elephantgirl]

Well, I can only understand why he would feel bad is from guilt. But, if I'm okay, he shouldn't have to worry about it then because now he can go find THE ONE. I am in the anger stage of a break-up and finding him crying over it, pissing me off.

I do believe in gut feelings. I feel he is more upset with himself, like that he let himself down. He does try to be a great friend to all his friends, a great son, a great brother, he tried and was a great boyfriend - so the fact he had to end it contradicts what he wanted to be? I don't know. I'm just bitter it's over and that we didn't try to make it work but I understand gut feelings bleh.

[KingZ]

You made a thread a while back about how you were "over" him. Are you realizing that the pain comes in waves?

[elephantgirl]

I am over him, like I don't want him back. I'm just think a lot and there are stages we all go through during a break-up, this is my angry phase, haha. We all look for answers when the simple answer to all our questions is "he's just not that into you" - for some reason it's hard to accept that somedays.

[KingZ]

You should make yourself a peanut butter and honey sandwich, with little slices of banana. You'll feel better.

[edit] Do they have these ingredients in Canada?

[HeartIsAching]

Yes, they do... except that's it's between pieces of slate there... they have yet to invent sliced bread.

[KingZ]

Yes, they do... except that's it's between pieces of slate there... they have yet to invent sliced bread.

Ahh. See, I've always said, that's what happens in these socialist countries. You end up having to wait around in line for hours and when you get there, you have to slice the bread yourself.

Have you seen that "Canadian bacon" stuff? It's not even bacon. It's just... protein. Socialist protein: the protein of the poor.

[HeartIsAching]

I have... I always wondered why "ham that's thinly sliced" was somehow Canadian.

[Wakeup]

Well, I can only understand why he would feel bad is from guilt. But, if I'm okay, he shouldn't have to worry about it then because now he can go find THE ONE. I am in the anger stage of a break-up and finding him crying over it, pissing me off.

I do believe in gut feelings. I feel he is more upset with himself, like that he let himself down. He does try to be a great friend to all his friends, a great son, a great brother, he tried and was a great boyfriend - so the fact he had to end it contradicts what he wanted to be? I don't know. I'm just bitter it's over and that we didn't try to make it work but I understand gut feelings bleh.

Stop talking to him. You're broken up and he needs to have zero to do with you and you with him.

Love is not enough to keep a relationship together and obviously he's figured that out. Now he just has to come to terms with you no longer being in his life (it takes time to do that and zero contact helps the process) as you have come to terms of him no longer being in your life and you can't do that when you're both being in each others lives. In view of that: Leave him alone and get on with your lives without each other in it.

[KingZ]

I have... I always wondered why "ham that's thinly sliced" was somehow Canadian.

That's the American take on Canadian bacon. It's a national mockery.

If you go to Canada and get Canadian bacon, they don't slice it. They just give you the entire, live pig. Horrible on pizza.

[Wakeup]

At the Canadian National Exibition held in Toronto every summer for over 100 years, Americans line up for Canadian Bacon on a bun. The deep fried butter doesn't go over as well since its standard fair in the States (which is obvious from the fat asses crossing the border to get our bacon.

[KingZ]

Americans that live that close to the US-Canada border are basically Canadians.

[Wakeup]

First you Merkins steal our hockey and now you're gunning for our bacon.

[HeartIsAching]

At the Canadian National Exibition held in Toronto every summer for over 100 years, Americans line up for Canadian Bacon on a bun. The deep fried butter doesn't go over as well since its standard fair in the States (which is obvious from the fat asses crossing the border to get our bacon.

"Fare"

I've never even seen deep-fried butter... and I currently live in the south.