Need Advise From A Male Perspective.

[Rachellynn1986]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. When we got together he had just left a girl he was dating for 6 months. Saturday we go into a fight and he tells me he still loves her and wants to be with her. Then changes his mind about 8 times from her to me and back again. Now she is staying at his house with her children. But hes here everynight wanting to make love saying he misses me and loves me but leaves and goes back to her. He says she has no where else to go until June so once she can move she will and he will be dedicated to me again. But until then I have to deal with them just being friends and living together. He was here last night and wanted oral but smelled of sex and it made me want to vomit and gag.

He just keeps saying he loves me and not her and wants me to be his wife and spend his life with me. What the hell does this man really want. What is he doing this for? He cant explain it so maybe some one here can.

What do I do ?

[smackie9]

If it were me it would be about him hitting the high road. It would be a deal breaker for me no matter what. Think about it....he has no respect for you or your relationship, he is over stepping, and I mean he IS over stepping, his boundaries. Kick his sorry loser ass to the curb.

hun if that all it takes for him to have his way, he's just gonna keep saying those things to pacify you. You are being a damn fool. F uckin get rid of him!

[Rachellynn1986]

Im addicted to him. I believe everything he says, I cant help it. I cant leave him alone hes on the phone now telling me he loves me has me in complete tears.

How do I let go.??

[smackie9]

just think about him having sex with his ex and how much he is enjoying it.

[Rachellynn1986]

I tried but it doesnt work.

[smackie9]

Suggest a threesome?

[Boisdevie]

Im addicted to him. I believe everything he says, I cant help it.

Pathetic. Don't you have any self respect?

[Mattiemae]

This relationship is just not one that will work out based on the idea that infidelity is not a good foundation to build trust. Point being just let him go and move on. Have some self worth and self respect. There are many guys out their that will value and respect you. The only thing I can see happening is you going back and forth and arguing with this man that clearly doesn't respect you or your relationship. It's nice to help others out, but the thing is he's not cut his ties with this women.

[Cryptic]

What... You are with this man even if he literally ****ing around with someone else? Kinda weird, but suit yourself, you have to think about do you want to continue that.

[edwardsla]

Look girl I was in your situation 8 months ago and ill tell you this....you end up only getting even more hurt then you already are.. I always like to say this: "Be his grand prize not his consolation prize"

[Rachellynn1986]

Really Boisdevie? I came to this forum because I am apparently having an issue. So your solution is to attempt to make me fee bad about myself. This is what is wrong with people. Apparently I needed advice not some one to be a prick to me.

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Edwardsla,

Easier said then done but I guess I have no other choice to but to try to let go...

[edwardsla]

YOu could always stay that is always a choice sweetie everyones situation can be different im just givingyou my advice Hope it works out

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Pathetic. Don't you have any self respect?

Ya know if your in a long relationship the guy can be addicting and thats just how love works sometimes.

[michelle23]

He is right. Time for a reality check. Where is your self respect, self esteem, self worth? People will treat you the way you allow them to. You should get some counselling and work on your confidence so you dont become "addicted" to anyone. This isn't love

love is mutual trust and respect. Its supposed to make you feel happy and good. All this man is doing is feeding your low self esteem, making you feel like you somehow deserve it coz your not good enough.

You need to change how you view yourself and realize you can do better but it all starts with respecting yourself and knowing you are worth more

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Oh and the only way to get over your addiction is to cut him off, go through the temporary withdrawel and pain and find some peace and happieness at the end of the tunnel. Pain is only temporary once you leave someone but it will be permanent if you stay with him

Good luck

[codylf95]

pain doesent last forever, unless you allow it to

[EuellG]

absolutely agreed