I'm 27 and still with my childhood sweetheart. For years I was very, very happy and never cared about the compromises we had to make to be together. I loved being with her and she loved being with me. Over the last 3-4 years though, I've become slowly very unhappy. Somehow I feel like I've ended up in a relationship where I am more of a care giver than a boyfriend. She wants me around constantly, but seems to have no sexual feelings for me. I feel more like a comfort blanket who can be relied upon to do housework, cook her meals and keep her company.
We've been together 10 years now and I guess loads of couples reach this point, where one or both people are not happy. My problem though is that for her, our relationship is the most stable thing she has ever experienced. Her father passed away some years ago, her mother is a violent and abusive sociopath, and her relationships with other family members is strained. She has a network of very close good friends but they are scattered around the country. She feels she moved to where we live now because of me - although she never said that when we made the decision to move here, in fact she said she felt it was the best place for both of us in terms of careers.
I love this woman dearly, I want her to be happy and I always want her to be a part of my life - we've grown up together, lost our virginity together and experienced everything together, but we aren't happy together. She insists she could not cope with us being apart. I am miserable, I recently have begun having panic attacks when I think about trying to talk to her about our relationship problems and explain clearly that I am unhappy. Everytime I try, she cries so much, I can't stand seeing her so upset.
I have to break it off. I can't cope anymore. I desperately want to do this in as kind a way as possible, and to leave the door open for us to work out how to be friends. How can I do this?