Hi folks.....
I have been dating my girlfriend for 12 months. She is beautiful, quirky, intelligent and very dedicate to me.
4.5 years ago, she left her husband (who I gather was a supportive husband and good father to their children) as she had embarked on an affair with a work colleague. It now transpires that the 2.5 year she spent in a relationship with the work colleague were abusive. While there was only one incident of domestic violence, he was verbally aggressive to her and would get angry and smash items in her house. Three of four time in the 2.5 years they were together, he left her. Each time, she tracked him down and resurrected the relationship... e.g. She has a number of opportunities to end the relationship, but it was her choice not to.
She knew that he had a criminal record for violence, had lied on job applications and was generally a bad egg, but obviously became very emotionally attached to him. It then transpires that after they split up, she embarked on another relationship with a drug addict who exhibited similar behaviour.
"Make a mistake once, and it's just a mistake. Make the same mistake twice and it's a choice. Make the same mistake multiple times and its a personality trait"
My problem is this... Having found more about her relationships, I am starting to doubt her value system. Frankly, I would not even entertain passing the time of day with guys like this, never mind having a relationship with them. I sadly feel, knowing that she can fall in love with these kind of people that it is changing my perception of her and affecting my feelings for her.
I cannot talk to her about this, as the more she tries to justify her choices, the more it seems to reinforce my fears.
I want to feel the same love for her that I did before she told me all this, but I am struggling.
Please help.