Old girlfriend, new girlfriend

[kw86]

Last year I was in a relationship with a girl who has Borderline Personality Disorder, if you don't what this is, basically a person with BPD has low self esteem and will lie about everything, they are good at it too. I didn't know she had BPD during our relationship. After 6 months of Skyping I moved to another country to be with her for 3 months. After 2 months I found out she has been making up things. I would say about 80% of the things she told me were lies. The whole time I thought she had cancer and was going through chemo(she has just finished before I got there). I would set my alarm in the morning so she was able to chat with me on our phones for 3 hours while she was in the hospital getting her treatment. She told me she had her own company and I found out my bank account was missing $24.000. And the list goes on and on...

Basically I have been pretty beat up with lies. However I surprised myself the way I dealt with it and moved on with my life. I don't feel like I'm damaged. In general, still trust people easily. So a few months after being single and time I focused on myself and work I met a different girl. We hit it off, we also live in different countries. After a few months of intense talking on Skype (I feel like this a very good way to build a foundation) she flew over to visit me. We spent two weeks together and we definitely have that 'click'. I don't fall for someone very easily, but we really hit it off. She will be visiting me again in a few months and a month after that I'm moving back to my home country (the country she lives in as well).

After she got home from her first trip visiting me she wanted to meet my parents. My parents were super excited as well. They spent 6 hours together that day and all had an amazing time. She also met my uncle, aunt, 2 cousins and my grandma in the country I'm in right now. Everyone likes her and all is good. I would say a good start for sure.

She was in a 10 year relationship with someone who she has kids with. That guy got angry easily and was very controlling.

That's my story but here is my concern;

there is this guy on her Facebook who is liking every single picture of her. So one day I asked her who this person was. She told me it was a guy from work who she has met once when he visited the company she works for(the guy lives 5500 miles away). I asked if it was just work or if maybe something more happened. She said it was just work. In the weeks following I would ask her a few more times and she was consistent in her answers. Yesterday we got into a heated argument on Skype. Lots of frustration from the LDR, and we were both pretty emotional. She was fishing for me to start about that guy again and then finally she said that the guy is into her. They went to dinner once. She is not into him and that's what she told him on Facebook chat (this is all she told me). I totally believe her. However the fact that she lied about something, and continued to lie even after I asked a few more times over the course of months really hurts me. I'm sure this has to do with my past. And I can understand her reasoning, she was scared I would get mad (how can a balanced person get mad about this), but with her past I can understand it. However, I have a new girlfriend that already started to lie about something and that sucks.


Let me know what you guys think. I know that being in the middle of everything makes it so much more challenging to see what really is going on.

Thanks!!

[Wakeup]

I think I'd like to know why you can't find a girlfriend in your home town where you don't have to have a Skype relationship with.

[kw86]

I think I'd like to know why you can't find a girlfriend in your home town where you don't have to have a Skype relationship with.

I totally don't connect with girls here. I have tried it for 5 years. I am moving back to my home country and started talking to this girl i knew from back in the day. We slowly started to get to know each more and more until the point that she wanted to visit.

I'm not moving back home for her. That was my plan before we started talking.

[Wakeup]

You "totally don't connect" with girls from other lands either. You'd do well to just date casually with people where you happen to be living and forget moving anywhere to be with someone you barely know. Skyping is superficial knowledge of the person you're attracted to. It's fantasy and it's not doing you any good.

[kw86]

Thanks for your opinion but I disagree.

I would like to go back to my concern and the reason why I started this thread.

[michelle23]

I think you are making your own life harder. Stop meeting girls online-especially ones from another country. Its just ridiculous. Im not even going to explain all the reasons why its ridiculous-your a grown man-you should be able to figure it out

[surfhb]

Thanks for your opinion but I disagree.

I would like to go back to my concern and the reason why I started this thread.

I think wakeup told you her reasoning quit well. Why don't you agree?

What's up with the missing $24k?

- - - Updated - - -

[kw86]

Thanks for the responses.

I met my girlfriend in person over five years ago. She was in a relationship at the time but we remained friendly.

I am moving back for work reasons in a few months. So no point in looking to date here. I've been on a ton of dates here over the last 5 years. It was very educational, taught me a lot about myself. I have also been in two relationships.

I'm excited to go back home and start a new chapter in my life.

[michelle23]

Are you moving there because you really want to for career etc? Or just for her?

[Valixy]

If there's nothing else about her that bothers you, I think you should simply try to forget about this because it's irrelevant and nobody says the whole truth and nobody should.

[kw86]

If there's nothing else about her that bothers you, I think you should simply try to forget about this because it's irrelevant and nobody says the whole truth and nobody should.

She has so many qualities I am looking for in a girl. I think the result of my past is That I'm sensitive to people lying to me.

[Valixy]

As long as she respects the relationship with you and does not entertain her admireres, you should relax.