my gf holds onto a ring from an ex bf

[redcandy]

hi ppl. my gf holds onto a ring from her ex bf, one who has passed away. she keeps it because she doesnt know what to do with it. she says she feels its disrespectful to throw or sell it. i do thing he has relatives or siblings or mum and dad still around.

it hurts me because i feel like deep down she is still holding on, even though she says the above. its like she doesnt realise but shes holding on still. he isnt her last bf, its her bf before that. she has had it for maybe 2 or more years. he was her first, so does that make it acceptable to hold onto it?

she holds it in her purse so in reality she would have it on her all the time. and possibly think of him?

i told her what does he love? she said the beach, i said well, maybe you could go to a beach he loved and throw it in, take your time. so throwing it sounds abit ERRRR i know lol but she pretty much listened, but in the end i felt like it was going to stay in her purse forever....

im not comfortable with it. what should i do, am i overeating in thinking she should give/sell/throw?

thx

- - - Updated - - -

its not an engagement ring but it is an expensive ring

[hatesthis]

It's just a memento. She may have lingering feelings but obviously cannot act on it since he is deceased and maybe because he is deceased the ring holds more meaning and value to her. I don't think you should tell her to throw it away she will store it away when she feels the time is right.. not you.

[vashti]

Yes, you are overreacting. Don't be an idiot, and stop harassing her about it.

[Wakeup]

Seriously. You're showing her one big red flag that you're too immature and controlling. I'd leave you before I got rid of that ring. Throw you in the beach of your choice even if you'd like.

[redcandy]

well that was brutal lol.... but thanks. ive only spoken about it to her once and she brought it up, not me! i havent brought it up again and now i certainly wont. i only said the op at the time.
but alright thanks guys. thx!

[kw86]

Lol guys are pretty harsh on here but I guess sometimes it's good to hear it like that.

I agree with everyone, that ring has a lot of value to her. Look at her actions instead, does it look like she totally wants to be with you? Yes? Then don't worry and relax about it.

[redcandy]

ya i agree. i wanted some advice and i got it, rough but nevertheless i got it lol
yeah her actions and words says she does. so i wont comment on it. i didnt at all push her at the time, i was just giving some options instead what i should have done, actively listened instead without a solution. it seems

[hatesthis]

How was my advice harsh or rough? People still cherish memories of people they once loved it doesn't matter if they passed away or not real love doesn't die. I'm sure one day you'll have that with another person too.

[Wakeup]

How was my advice harsh or rough? People still cherish memories of people they once loved it doesn't matter if they passed away or not real love doesn't die. I'm sure one day you'll have that with another person too.

I think its obvious that he was not referring to the one(s) that were not "harsh" or "rough."

[redcandy]

How was my advice harsh or rough? People still cherish memories of people they once loved it doesn't matter if they passed away or not real love doesn't die. I'm sure one day you'll have that with another person too.

to be quite frank you could have said it kinder, there's not doubt about that. it appears to me as it would a lot of others you took it way too, heart. nothing wrong with that but in future you could put a positive spin on your advice. i appreciate your input. next time be positive rather than negative.

if not, please put me on your ignore list and refrain from discussing anything in my thread or other posts. thanks!


i thank everyone for your help, it will certainly help me. maybe one day ill dig this thread from the grave with an update

[rest77]

@Readcandy

Let's say you had a girlfriend and was together with her over 2 years. During those period, you gave her a gift, maybe a ring or something special. Something bad happened, you died. Would that be okay with you or would you prefer, that after she moved on with her life and start dating someone else, that she should throw the special gift you gave her away?

[vashti]

to be quite frank you could have said it kinder, there's not doubt about that. it appears to me as it would a lot of others you took it way too, heart. nothing wrong with that but in future you could put a positive spin on your advice. i appreciate your input. next time be positive rather than negative.

if not, please put me on your ignore list and refrain from discussing anything in my thread or other posts. thanks!


i thank everyone for your help, it will certainly help me. maybe one day ill dig this thread from the grave with an update

Oh, for crying out loud. (rolling eyes)

[HeartIsAching]

hi ppl. my gf holds onto a ring from her ex bf, one who has passed away. she keeps it because she doesnt know what to do with it. she says she feels its disrespectful to throw or sell it. i do thing he has relatives or siblings or mum and dad still around.

it hurts me because i feel like deep down she is still holding on, even though she says the above. its like she doesnt realise but shes holding on still. he isnt her last bf, its her bf before that. she has had it for maybe 2 or more years. he was her first, so does that make it acceptable to hold onto it?

she holds it in her purse so in reality she would have it on her all the time. and possibly think of him?

i told her what does he love? she said the beach, i said well, maybe you could go to a beach he loved and throw it in, take your time. so throwing it sounds abit ERRRR i know lol but she pretty much listened, but in the end i felt like it was going to stay in her purse forever....

im not comfortable with it. what should i do, am i overeating in thinking she should give/sell/throw?

thx

- - - Updated - - -

its not an engagement ring but it is an expensive ring

Yeah? So what?

I've got a wedding band from a previous marriage for the same reason... it's a sizable gold ring with diamonds set in it. It stays in my "doo-dads" box on my dresser. Mostly meaningless. Wifey doesn't have a problem with it - she knows who my heart belongs to.

[Wakeup]

to be quite frank you could have said it kinder, there's not doubt about that. it appears to me as it would a lot of others you took it way too, heart. nothing wrong with that but in future you could put a positive spin on your advice. i appreciate your input. next time be positive rather than negative.

if not, please put me on your ignore list and refrain from discussing anything in my thread or other posts. thanks!


i thank everyone for your help, it will certainly help me. maybe one day ill dig this thread from the grave with an update

Trolling, troll, trolls

[smackie9]

I still have jerwelry from ex BFs from over 30 years ago. It's gold and it's still good, not throwing it away. Get over it.

Maybe she can pawn it someday when she needs money, it's a win win.