Hi all...new to the forum. I dont even know how to start this. I am 24 Female and I am paranoid and extremely insecure although 100% of people say I am very good looking my paranoia makes me think they are all lying. The reason to this is that I was trying to have a normal relationship but it has been impossible since every time a guy approaches me I feel afraid. Then even if they get to know me I always have an impression that they just want sex, because sometimes when insanity leaves me I see real me, a pretty girl with great body. But that all turns into deception again. I am intimidating guys in these short relationships by being very serious because I am nervous and eventually even if they make an aggressive move I panic and almost literally run back home. I am so aggressive and frustrated because of this, became one of those outcast angry figures.
But I want love so much...nobody believes that I have never had a boyfriend. Sad reality is that they don't know how crazy I am behind that pretty facade.
Any advice?
P.S. the only way out I see is getting high, at least then I don't feel miserable
and don't ask me to put out a picture, my social anxiety barely lets me even feel safe this way.