Is it really possible to be in love yet still be attracted to another

[nico88]

I somewhat disagree with the guys and girls can't be just friends thing. Its like..I'm not gunna go and cut ties with people I've known since I was 6 because they don't have a penis. My girlfriend and I both have friends of the opposite sex and we have known all of them for years. We all pretty much grew up together. So it's not like I'm seeking out new friendships with women. And I dont think shes seeking out any male friends..so I don't see anything wrong with that.

[searock]

Yeah it's different with childhood friends.

[nico88]

Cool. Cause one of my best friends is actually a girl. I know that can cause some trouble for some people but my girlfriend loves her to death so it works out for us. They hang out without me all the time haha

[searock]

As long as your best female friend is your girlfriend, and you aren't attracted to your female friends (and they aren't attracted to you), there's no problem.

[nico88]

Of course. She's my best friend period. And as far as I know none of my female friends are attracted to me..

[searock]

It's good then .

[nico88]

Also surprised the girlfriend for lunch today at one of our favorite parks in the city. Thought I'd share a pic of our faces looking stupid since you guys are probably what helped keep us together...

[hatesthis]

So I feel insanely ridiculous. One because I feel this is kinda a stupid question and two because I'm legitly sitting here on my phone posting this dumbass question on love forum but I need advice. And I need it from an outside party. So here we go.

I've been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for two years. We live together, have two dogs together, and are genuinely really happy. I'd do anything for her. I really would. But just recently I met this girl and I have honestly never been so physically attracted to another person in my entire life. I feel like a dick for saying this, but I wasn't even this attracted to my girlfriend when I met her. This is entirely new to me. I mean, don't get me wrong I'm not saying I'm not guilty of checking other girls out but usually I'll just sort of acknowledge that they're good looking and forget about it. But with this girl it's different. At first I was just physically attracted to her but I was recently forced to go on a camping trip for buddy's birthday and he invited said chick to go as well and I realized she's way more then just a pretty face. I dig everything about this girl. Her mind, her sense of humor, her body, just everything.

I haven't acted on any of these feelings I have towards her. And I don't plan to. I mean I do love my girlfriend and I'd never want to hurt her by cheating. So basically I wanna know if anyone else has ever been in love but felt so ****ing strongly attracted to someone who is not their significant other and how or what they did about it. Like does it make me a dick of a boyfriend that I'm even feeling this way? Or is not as big of a deal as I'm making it? Or does the fact that I'm having feelings for someone else mean I need to reevaluate my current relationship? Idk man. Just taking a shot out in the dark I guess. Any advice any love gurus can send my way, I'd be appreciative.

I think so but then you have to question how much in love you actually are with the original partner to have such a deep attraction to a stranger new person. Could just be lust, relationships go through lulls etc and maybe you feeling these feelings are a sign like you yourself stated to "re-evaluate" your current relationship standing, idk. I haven't felt the way you do I am more fall in love and love and am attracted to them alone do I notice good looking guys sure but I don't feel anything or a pull to them or give them too many second thoughts. These thoughts are only off this quoted post never read the rest of the thread. I'm sure you'll sort it all out. Good luck.

[nico88]

Thanks. I think it was just that we were at a little lull in the relationship. I'm putting more effort into making it work and hoping for the best.

[Valixy]

You've got a fine girl there, nico. Lucky you!

[nico88]

Thank you. Hoping I won't take how lucky I am for granted again any time soon.

[michelle23]

I doubt ill ever change my mind about the male/female friendship thing. I have male friends but im not close to them, rarely see them, dont text them or ring them or meet them alone etc.. as long as theirs boundaries its fine but a lot of people cross those lines too often-hence so many emotional affairs and confusion

[nico88]

I respect that. Everyone has their own ways for keeping out of trouble. And I do think there are some people who shouldn't be friends with the opposite sex.

There's just some men and women out there who can't control themselves and end up disrespecting and ****ing their relationship to hell. I'm just determined not to be one of those idiots. I don't cross any lines. Unless you know, you count those thoughts I had a few days ago. Which idk if that really qualifies as crossing a line or not..

[searock]

Having sexual fantasies about somebody else is perfectly normal, you didn't cross any boundary. I'm sure she fantasizes about somebody else as well, there's nothing wrong with it. As long as you don't act on it of course (which includes even just flirting).

[nico88]

For sure. I just meant because I basically contemplated ending my entire relationship because of some other person I felt a connection to. I feel super guilty about it sometimes. Its just that this was the first time that ever happened to me. Well how strong the feeling was anyway.

I'm hoping this isn't going to happen again but if it does at least I now have some experience under my belt about how to handle it.