Harsh truth

[Taylor28]

Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago. We were together nearly 9 years. We have kept in Lc since but for the past week he has text me every day. Just random messages like he got a new phone. Hope the cats ok. So yesterday after he text me again I decided that I couldn't keep second guessing why he was texting me and asked him out straight if he wanted to meet up. He said he didn't think it was a good idea cos it would make it harder and he didn't want to upset me! I don't get why he was texting me every day then! We broke up cos I found messages between him and he's co worker. He then said he wanted to be on his own cos he didn't know what he wanted. He told me he still finds me attractive and his mum told me he has told her he still loves me! So I was very confused and hoped that by him texting he missed me.

It turned out that whatever he's reason for texting me was it wasn't to get back with me. Maybe he wanted to be friends? But would you still text an ex everyday?! At least I now know there is no hope. Sometimes no matter how much good advice we get from family, friends and forums like this we have to learn the hard way. I just hate that I fell for his breadcrumbs and made him feel better.

[pcmaster]

Yea well life happens. Good that you been straight and now know keeping contact is a waste of time.

This guide could help you move on.

loveforum.net/threads/85672-Guide-How-to-deal-with-breakup

[nico88]

I think alot of couples who have broken up after being together for such a long time often find it hard to let go of that overall familiarity of having each other. Sometimes one of them will break down and have to contact their ex even if they don't want to get back together with that person. It's sort of an impulse. You get this nagging desire to feel that comfort again, even if it's just for a second. It's just human nature I think.

But even with that being said I've never heard of anyone having much success remaining "friends" with their ex. It just doesn't work. Somewhere down the line signals are gunna get crossed, old feelings are gunna come up, and someone's gunna get hurt all over again. It's just not worth the drama imo. You gotta do what's best for you in the end, ya know?

[smackie9]

He is still finding it difficult to not have you in his life. Never mistake this as a romantic thing, it's separation anxiety. He is in the process of adjustment. Since you are still grieving the loss of your relationship you are best to tell him to stop contacting you because you are trying to move on.

[Wakeup]

Yes and stop talking to his mother as well. She will only give you false hope that she has no business doing because she shouldn't be speaking for her son and telling you things they've talked about in private. She likely didn't mean any harm but she's causing it by repeating private conversations between her and her son.