Is he interested?

[alwaysconfused2]

I met this guy on OkCupid. We chatted online for about 4-5 days before meeting—it seemed like we had similar personalities and I thought he sounded like a good guy, responsible and attractive. We went out wine tasting for our first date (I had mention wine tasting in a nearby town with friends the previous weekend, and he said he preferred the ones around where we lived, I said I had never been, he said he could show me them, so I said that would be great (didn’t think it was going to be an actual invitation that soon) and then he asked when I was available. We went to 3 different wineries, and I thought it went really well! At the end he said he was hungry (it was almost dinner time—we had met at noon) and asked if I wanted to grab something to eat. I had a family commitment that night so I had to decline (he knew I had something to do that night already, so he knew I wasn’t blowing him off).
After I got home I texted him and thanked him for showing me the wineries, told him I had a great time and said sorry I didn’t have time to grab dinner. He replied with “That’s okay next time :-)”

I didn’t hear from him for the next two days. I was starting to worry that maybe I misread the signals and he wasn’t as into me as I thought. But then he texted me on the third day, saying that “Hope graduation is going well, I think it was today” (it was my graduation that day). I replied back to him and we texted the rest of the day (although my texts weren’t very prompt, since I was at graduation). Later that night as we were texting he told me that he had been visiting friends out of town, but just got back and was going to hang out/drink with some friends. A few texts later he asked “are you still doing family stuff?” I think this was him seeing if I was free. I told him I was still at dinner. I also mentioned how my bestfreind and I were having a few drinks at dinner, and planning to get drunk to celebrate once my family left. He said “well if you guys want to drink with other people, you could hang out with us.” I told him that I was in the car with my parents, but would talk to my friend once we were home. He and I kept texting about other things. Later I told him that neither of us could really drive, so I’d have to pass on hanging out that night. We continued to text throughout the night, which turned into kinda drunk texting. At one point he said (although not with as nice of grammar) that he hoped his drunk texts weren’t scaring me away.

The next afternoon I initiated a text conversation with him (I was really bored in a 3 hour car drive with family). He took a while to reply most of the time but I sent quick replies (I was bored—and I did tell him that). Eventually the conversation didn’t seem to be going anywhere so I didn’t reply to his last message.
The day after that we didn’t talk. I was going to wait for him to contact me, but I decided to go ahead and send him a “hey how’s it going” two days from when we last texted. At this point, it had been 6 days since we met in person, so I was getting anxious if there was gonna be a second date or not (and I knew that he normally has the next day off, so I figured I would start a conversation and see how things go). We texted and it turns out that he had to go in for part of the day and then take his car into the shop.

This last text conversation was yesterday. Today when I logged online, I went to go look at his profile (I was curious to see when he last logged in-not that it mattered, I’m still chatting with a few people on the site too) and he deleted/disabled his account.

I’m 95% sure that this could not be because of our relationship-we’ve only had one date. It’s crazy to think that’s why, right? Does this mean he is serious about someone else? It’s now been a week since our first date—if he was interested he would have asked for a second one by now, right? Or does his invitation to hang out on Saturday count, so I’m supposed to make the next move? On one hand, I feel like it was a slightly tipsy invite, on the other hand if he was okay with me meeting his friends, does that mean something?

If it makes a difference, I’m 21 and he’s 26. I don’t have very much previous dating experience, so I’m still trying to figure out how the dating scene works.
Do you think he will text me again/ask me out? Or should I forget about him because it sounds like he is with someone else? (if that’s the case, why didn’t he say something yesterday).

Thanks for your advice!

[nico88]

Online dating can be tricky. I'm not saying all the guys are looking for hook ups but I think majority of em are. Not saying that's the case with him..just something to be weary of.

You could always hit him up and see if he'd be interested in going out again. We like it when girls make moves like that. But if you're not that kind of girl, then that's alright. You could always just strike up a casual conversation again and see where it leads. But since you two did only go out once, I'd definitely be keeping my options open.

[smackie9]

You want a guy to be interested in you? You have to be flirty, and be more assertive. Guys love it when you show a real interest in them, asking questions, taking an interest in their interests, flirt, laugh at their jokes.....my god this is so old skool, but it works. You don't act like a crazy slut, but god damn ya gotta show sex appeal. By the sounds of it this guy thinks he's been friends zoned from the way you have handled things so far.

Get on it sista call him (not text)and talk to him. Get your groove on, flirt, be exciting to him, ask him out, make plans.

[basilandthyme]

yep, Smackie nailed it. Flirty, sexy and assertive is what you need to learn