Been lurking for a while but never posted before. Dealing with a partners past seems to be a common topic on here but my case is a little different.
Met this great girl, we're both divorced, been together a few months. During the early stages she told me about a prisoner buddy, her "best friend" as she called him. But she also told me she was now distancing herself from him and no longer wished to keep their friendship going. It had been going on for about 6 years, she'd write to this guy, send him money, go to visit him every few months. She became his outside contact and dealt with a lot of his legal stuff and generally gave him help and support. During a lot of this time she was still married and admitted at one point she did fall in love with him and shared some passionate kisses during her visits, and some passionate letters, but realized she could never have a future with him. I didn't ask too many questions as sounded like it was in the past, and she was in a very unhappy marriage and I guess she was looking for attention.
But a couple of months later I discovered that he was in jail for molesting his own daughters! My girlfriend has two young daughters of her own and it shocked me to the core. Why the hell would she want to get involved with a pedophile in the first place?! She always seems very sensible and level headed to me, very intelligent, the girl I know would never do something so stupid. She told me she was going through a very bad time in her marriage, husband neglecting her, feeling totally unloved and unwanted. She says she now realizes it was a mistake, that she was a different person back then...but still, she spent 6 years having a close friendship with this piece of scum and never came to that conclusion before?
It still bugged me but I tried to forget it and move on but recently she let it slip about yet another prisoner buddy from her past....I think she was trying to keep it quiet from me.....and yet again it was another sex offender! To her credit she did then sit down and tell me the whole story. This guy did 18 years for 1st degree sexual assault against a teenager...basically a rapist. He got out of jail and she met him through her church, they became friends and a few months later she had sex with him willingly....she was still married at this time and had a two year old daughter at home.....Shortly afterwards they lost contact but a couple of years later the guy ends up back in prison for another sexual assault. So she decides to reconnect with him and they start writing and I saw some of her emails....she was telling him that what happened was not a mistake and that she can't wait for him to get back out. This was only a few months before I met her.
Again she told me it was because of her bad marriage and she deeply regrets it now. But she didn't seem too regretful in her emails to him, anything but. She told me that she was in a very bad place, she told me I'd never be able to relate what she was going through....at the time she was 300lbs....her husband didn't want to touch her so she was grateful for any male attention she could get. She also told me about two other guys she cheated with, one of whom was someone she'd meet up with in her lunch break for some mutual masturbation in the car and not much else.
I feel totally disgusted with her. Yeah it was in the past and it's never a good idea to dwell on that, but it doesn't feel like I know her anymore. To cheat with a convicted pedophile while her own toddler daughter is home with her hubby.....that just disgusts me. She assures me that she has ended all contact with all these guys and I do believe her. So am I being too harsh here, should I just forget and move on? One sex offender was difficult to deal with, but two? Can people really change that quickly from being so stupid and reckless to being so smart and level headed?