Help on what to do??

[Dannilaw]

Hey all!!

I need some advice on my current situation.
I met a guy at work a few months ago. We started chatting and went on a few dates.
From then on in we speak over the phone everyday, meet each other a few times a week and everything was great. We tell each other lots of different things of our life's to each other ect.

Here's the thing,

(His ex girlfriend passed away about a year ago and iv not long came out a bad relationship.)

We sort of turned our relationship into a casual sex thing but iv developed feelings for him and I thought he did too but now I just don't know what's going on.

He always compliments me, takes me out and always stares in my eyes ect. He even as much as got annoyed at my ex for being abusive towards me. When we are together we act like boyfriend/girlfriend.

The other night he said "he thinks about me all the time. Like where I am and what I'm doing".
I didn't really reply to this at this point.

I was contemplating my life today and I realised that I'm starting to develop feelings for him. I told him that "I'm stuck in a situation that I find myself thinking about him all the time, I tried not to get close to him but I can't help it and I didn't know what to do"

He replied: "I'm nothing special, you can do so much better than me"

I said: "yeah you are special; to me you are and maybe I didn't want to do better than him and why did he say I can do better or was that his way of saying to me to leave him alone?"

He said: "no I don't want you to leave me alone.. I don't do relationships right now and I don't want anyone to get hurt."

I said "I wasn't asking him for a relationship but letting him know my feelings to see what his where, so that I could fix my situation"

Then I called him but he had just picked up his son so couldn't really talk.

I was wondering if they could give me their opinions and views to what they think? My head doesn't know what to do. To pursue to meet him or leave him alone?

Thanks 😊

[smackie9]

Open honest communication. Grow a set and tell him who you feel and what you want.

[Dannilaw]

Well I did grow the set and tried to kick start the conversation with "I can't stop thinking about him ect" but he threw me off... Hence the fact I'm asking advice?

[Dannilaw]

So... I asked him what he wanted from me?... His reply "I don't know what I want from you, I enjoy your company and not just the sex... I think I'm going to leave you alone as I don't want to hurt you cause your lovely girl."
Told me to go out tonight and get a decent bloke.

I replied "defo what you want?"

He said "it's not what I want but I know it's for the best."

Yeah go on just mess with my head some more!! Lol... What now? Just leave him be?

[MrLoyal]

Yeah. Leave him be, its the end of the road my friend.

[searock]

So... I asked him what he wanted from me?... His reply "I don't know what I want from you, I enjoy your company and not just the sex... I think I'm going to leave you alone as I don't want to hurt you cause your lovely girl."
Told me to go out tonight and get a decent bloke.

I replied "defo what you want?"

He said "it's not what I want but I know it's for the best."

Yeah go on just mess with my head some more!! Lol... What now? Just leave him be?

Yes, forget about him... he can't give you what you want. A guy that has feelings for you doesn't tell you to "go out and get a decent bloke" - unless he has some psychological illness like depression or stuff, in which case you should still forget about him as he would only drag you down (sorry but it is what it is).

[Dannilaw]

Who said anything about kids??

[smackie9]

Sorry wrong thread (I answer so many) Anyways, when a guy starts downplaying things, it's the it's not you, it's me speech, it means he's not that into you. All you are to him is a distraction and nothing more. Cut your losses and walk away.

[Dannilaw]

He's never said it's not you, it's me speech.

Even after saying all that he still calls and texts. I'm sure if he genuinely wanted me to leave him alone, he would have simply just ignored me, no?

[Dannilaw]

So I told him that I didn't want to stay away from him... The last text remaining that he sent was this.
I dont know now tbh, were both getting emotionally involved. ..
Think you need someone more stable and long term for you, you dont want to be wasting time with me...

Do you think he is scared of being hurt all over again? And also trust issues?

[MrLoyal]

So I told him that I didn't want to stay away from him... The last text remaining that he sent was this.
I dont know now tbh, were both getting emotionally involved. ..
Think you need someone more stable and long term for you, you dont want to be wasting time with me...

Do you think he is scared of being hurt all over again? And also trust issues?

You cant be this dumb? He is trying to tell you. "I only want sex, period. If you are feeling like you want more we better stop this now."

Its over, leave him, let it go! You are lying to yourself. I know its hard and upsetting but someone had to spell it out for you.

[rest77]

OMG!!! Wow, what a naive person you really are! I mean, just read your Post to yourself. The handwriting is on the wall!

I mean what is it you really want to hear? Can't you see, that you are just a Fk Buddy for him and he is even doing you a favor by telling you indirectly, but somehow you just not getting it. Honestly, he probably knew you are not just that smart enough, because you aren't getting the signal.

Am pretty sure nobody here in LoveForum will leave you a comment telling you he is in-love with you and that you should keep on pursuing him, because they aren't stupid.