My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together. He really is a great guy, amazing guy! I adore him and want to make him the happiest man alive! I feel strongly that if both people put the other one before themselves then you can only be happy, more connected, grow stronger, deeper, more connected! Practicing unconditional love is a lot of work but it's worth it and what I feel we are called to do. I am not perfect and I don't always do this but I do try to love him unconditionally, it is my desire. If I'm hurt or mad, I still try to make sure he always feels loved. I am never mean or hurtful towards him. He on the other hand is not that way with me. I want to start off by saying, He is the MOST sweet and loving man to me. He showers me with love, attention, sweet words... but if something triggers his mood, he can become so angry and so very mean. He is very generous with me except when it comes to emotionally. He is emotionally selfish and only cares about his own feelings if we get into a disagreement. Sometimes I feel so sad and heartbroken, I can't hold the tears back. I try so hard not to cry because crying makes him only more mad.. but my heart literally hurts so bad and I can't help it. I want my best friend to feel like a best friend but I can't trust him emotionally and it really breaks my heart. It's come to the point where I feel like I can't go to him with my feelings or thoughts, which is so sad and unhealthy. I feel like I need to put my feelings on the back burner and cater to him. Talking through things is what I need, it makes me feel closer to him but he gets frustrated and very impatient when I want to "talk". What I see as just talking through things, he sees as fighting. It then turns into a real fight. He screams, I cry. I've come to the conclusion that he either doesn't understand the severity of my hurt and pain, (he admits he thinks it's for attention... why???) or he just doesn't care that I'm so hurt. I hate to think he doesn't care, but that is what his actions show when I'm hurting. I wish he could feel my heart for one small moment when I feel that way, I think he would feel so very bad if he knew how bad I felt. I don't think he really understands my hurt, but I don't understand why he would think it's for attention. He does hold on tight to things in his past and my guess is that he experienced someone in his past doing it for attention so automatically thinks I do. Another thing that hurts me, I get punished for what others have done to him. Anyway, I can't fathom his mean behavior. The way he speaks to me, ignores me when he's mad. I could never treat the person I love that way. I try to ask him about it but he just says when he's angry, he only cares about his feelings. Who even admits that and doesn't feel bad? He shows no compassion or empathy towards me. It breaks my heart that the man who says he loves me more than anything and says he wants to spend his life with me can be so cruel to me when I'm hurting. When I'm hurting, he's who I need and want but he is the last person I can go to. I'm so very sad confused. Can anyone help me understand why he is like this to the person he loves?