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Thread: My Relationship Blues

  1. #1
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    My Relationship Blues

    I loved you
    And you loved me back
    Then you asked me out
    And we got into a relationship
    You became my first boyfriend
    And we both shared our 1st Kiss together

    Everything went great with no fights or anything else bad
    You seemed happy
    I was happy
    You gave me flowers & took me on a date for Valentine's Day
    And I gave you a special handmade card and a few gifts for your birthday
    You said "Thanks honey for all the gifts. Loved the card" & made me happy

    Then almost 2 weeks later after school
    I was with my friend and you texted me saying "I need to talk to you"
    We met in front of one of the school stairs, & began hugging
    Then you said "I think it'd be better if we just went back to being best friends instead"
    I was heartbroken & surprised, but acted like it wasn't the biggest deal
    Then I walked him to his meeting, went home in the rain, and cried for many days

    That was almost 3 months ago
    Three months in a few days
    I still have feelings for you
    But I don't know if you do anymore
    You confuse me with signs that say you still like me
    But I don't know if I should get my hopes up

    We're still best friends
    And I'm glad the relationship never killed our friendship
    Then we were both invited to a friend's party and both went
    It took you a while to show up due to other conflicts
    The others had said mean things about you before you got here
    I defended you because I didn't like what they were saying

    I talked with you a little bit after you arrived
    But because we didn't sit very close to each other, I talked with my friend more
    You talked with some of my other friends who were attending as well
    We all stayed out late, until you had to leave
    As you were leaving, one of my friends yelled "I love you!" to you; all the other girls laughed at her
    After some silence, you said "I love you too" but I couldn't tell if you meant it fully or was just going along with it


    Then she said she would ask our friend (the host) for your number
    And you said you would give it to her now
    So she ran towards you and you gave it to her & she gave you her number
    She said she would text you a lot all the time and laughed
    Then you left for home
    She came back to where we'd been sitting

    When we got up and went onto the lit porch
    My friend (the host) went inside her house for a minute with 2 other girls
    I casually told the girl that we'd dated
    I said, "You know, we actually dated before"
    Then she said "I'm sorry I'd flirted with him in front of you"
    When the girls came out, she told one of her friends she now felt weird that she did that in front of me.

    I told her it didn't really matter
    But really, it did
    Because I still love you
    And haven't gotten over our breakup
    Seeing her flirt with you throughout the night, I tried ignoring it
    And it worked until that one moment.

    I know I shouldn't be jealous like this
    But I'm filled with sadness again, and can't help it
    I'll move on sooner or later
    Because I sometimes feel like you already have
    I didn't make a big deal out of what happened with the other girl
    Because I can't control what happens with you and other girls

  2. #2
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    Good read. Is there anything you would like to ask the forum?

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrLoyal View Post
    Good read. Is there anything you would like to ask the forum?
    Thanks. Um... maybe how should I go about getting over my jealousy? The boyfriend mentioned in this just happens to be my best friend as well. And, as said in my poem-like story, that girl's flirting with him hit me harder than I thought it would.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by "LuvConquersAll" View Post
    Thanks. Um... maybe how should I go about getting over my jealousy? The boyfriend mentioned in this just happens to be my best friend as well. And, as said in my poem-like story, that girl's flirting with him hit me harder than I thought it would.
    Excellent question...

    The best you can do, in my opinion, is explore just why you feel jealousy.... I'm not talking about fearing that he'll be tempted but WHY you feel he might be tempted. Do you feel like you're not good enough for him, subconsciously? Do you not trust him? Once you figure out why, then you can begin work on dealing with it.

    Either way, in a relationship you need to have two basic things- trust and equality. If you don't have those and aren't able to subconsciously put him on a pedestal or trust him to not to do anything hurtful to you when you're not there...then you're in for a lot of heartache on both sides with a truly unhealthy relationship.

    So, figure out the why. And then try to think of ways to reassure yourself and give him room to breathe and be trusted.

  5. #5
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    Jealousy is like relationship cryptonite.
    No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone who is stupid that they are stupid.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by "sunrisesunset" View Post
    Jealousy is like relationship cryptonite.
    I agree, but only if it depends on how much of it there is.. If the person you're jealous over you're not insanely jealous over (and it occurs very, very rarely), then it's healthy to show you care.. But otherwise, you're dead right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rowen View Post
    I agree, but only if it depends on how much of it there is.. If the person you're jealous over you're not insanely jealous over (and it occurs very, very rarely), then it's healthy to show you care.. But otherwise, you're dead right.
    I know for my situation there were two reasons I'd gotten jealous. One was certainly because I still harbor feelings for him. The other was just because I knew the girl who flirted with him that night really wasn't the type of girl I'd see him hanging out with, much less dating. She is one of those girls who flirts with any and every boy she decides to flirt with. In my opinion, she's kind of a player in some ways.

    And it is very true that I care about him. After all he's my best friend and that's what best friends do for each other. Be there in times of need and care about them.

  8. #8
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    Again, evaluate why you feel jealousy... There's something deeper here.

  9. #9
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    I'm going to go out on a wide limb and guess, Obsession? I don't really think it is that. I know another girl who is far into that stage with him because he rejected going out with her. Even he's admitted many times he believes she's obsessed with him. But I don't think I'm there.

    I will admit now I believe I'm finally beginning to get over him now! It only took a little over 3 months for this day to arrive.

  10. #10
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    I wasn't really thinking obsession- more like subconscious feelings of inadequacy. Because when you put someone on a shelf above you, that's when you get into feeling a little bit threatened whenever something goes wrong.

    I'm glad you're starting to get over it all, though. Congrats!

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