Losing my virginity

[virgingirl21]

So I'm 22 years old and a virgin, I've been with my guy for almost a year and we both agree it is time to take out relationship to the next step. The only issue is I'm a virgin and I don't want to tell him that so I need tips on how to make it seem like I know what I'm doing I also want to know what to expect my first time? He is very experienced with sex.

[smackie9]

No non virgin waits almost a year to have sex.........he already knows you are a virgin.

First time with someone, even experienced are a little nervous, sex can be a little awkward because you don't know what the other really likes. Communication is key, you ask what he likes and how he likes it....he will guide you, but you do the same for him. Tell him what feels good, especially when he does oral on you. Hopefully you masturbate and know your own body well enough to guide him. Start with exploration, touching feeling, rubbing, etc. The more sex you have the better it will get so relax and just enjoy it.

[Valixy]

I personally have never understood why someone would feel embarrassed or want to hide to her boyfriend the fact that she is a virgin. And I have never heard of any guy being put off by a girl's virginity, at least in my part of the world that is. If anything, a girl's first experience is seen as something special and creates a special bond between them, disregarding the outcome of the relationship. Maybe if one of the partners would be much older than you are and would still be a virgin, that would be seen as a bit strange, but at your age you need to feel totally comfortable with being a virgin and communicate that to your boyfriend. Besides, even if you don't tell him, he should be able to tell in most of the cases when sleeping with you, so there is no point in pretending you're not. You could try the most experienced kisses but you could not change your anatomy.

I think that if you let him know that you are a virgin your experience will be much more relaxed and enjoyable despite the inevitable first times physical discomfort.

[searock]

First of all, are you sure you want your first time to be with a guy a lot more experienced than yourself? I imagine the answer is "yes", since you've been with him for an year. It's just that you're kind of missing out on the whole "exploring together" experience, but oh well.

Having said that, he probably already knows that you are a virgin, so there's no need for you to tell him that you need extra tips or something. He already knows that you are inexperienced. Just tell him to be slow and gentle and to stop whenever you tell him to (which any decent human being would do anyway).

As for you: the tenser you will be, the more it will hurt. So try to stay calm, remember that he loves you and you love him, all that mushy relaxing stuff. The first few times will be a bit uncomfortable, but the more you have sex the better it will get. So just go for it and (eventually) enjoy!

[virgingirl21]

See but I just don't want to ruin sex for him by making him be slow. I want him to have fun to and I don't see how that's possible me being a virgin whose never even masturbated before.

[searock]

Sweetie, you won't "ruin sex for him". You'll have plenty of time to have sex, the first few times for you are just going to have to be slow and gentle. He won't be sorry, really, he'll be happy that he's getting to have sex with you after an year, that's all.

What - never masturbated? That's unusual. How about you give it a try? It's best to know your own body.

[virgingirl21]

Why Is that unusual and I'm not telling him he doesn't have to know it'll be just like last time I told some one. I told my ex and he made fun of me and left me for someone else. Guys just arnt into virgins it'll ruin it.

[searock]

It just is unusual, it's a fact. Don't base your perception of men in general on the behavior of one (or even 10, doesn't matter) individual man. Every person is different. Besides, it's not about "guys being into virgins" - it's about him being into you (bad pun not intended).

Your boyfriend waited a whole year to have sex with you and you think he doesn't know you're a virgin? Why did he wait that long then?

Why do you want to keep things hidden from your boyfriend? Don't you trust him? If not, why are you still with him?

[virgingirl21]

He waited till I brought sex up and told him I was ready because he wants me happy with having sex and not feeling like were rushing anything. This is honestly the only thing I feel the need to hide. Even if he does know I just want it to be like normal sex no stopping or going slow I just wanna get it over with

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And as for masturbating I just can't.

[searock]

Why can't you?

Anyway, I can assure you he's going to know you're a virgin. Sex is a very important part of a romantic relationship, so when you say "this is the only thing I feel the need to hide", it's actually a pretty big thing that you're hiding. It's not like you're not telling him that you had a cat named Karl Marx when you were 14, you're not telling him something that is really important to you (and to you two as a couple). If you're not comfortable discussing sexual matters with him, I don't see why you'd even bother being with him. Just be honest, he'll appreciate it, and if he won't, you're better off without him anyway.

Really, think about it. You don't want to tell him because you're afraid he'll make fun of you and stuff. But wouldn't that be a good thing? It would give you the chance to see him for who he really is - an immature bully - and you'll be able to get rid of him. On the other hand, if he is a decent normal person he'll just say "oh, okay, no problem, there's a first time for everything :-)" and you'll get on with it. It's a win-win. If you don't tell him, he will know anyway and he'll feel betrayed because you kept it hidden from him, like you didn't trust him enough and so on.

Just tell him and then get it over with. After the first few times, it will be much better.

[Korder]

He waited till I brought sex up and told him I was ready because he wants me happy with having sex and not feeling like were rushing anything. This is honestly the only thing I feel the need to hide. Even if he does know I just want it to be like normal sex no stopping or going slow I just wanna get it over with

If a guy waited for you to bring up sex for a year, nothing will put him off really, other than you hiding something from him. It is true, that some guys may be put off by virgins, but that happens usually only when a guy in looking for a quick fling, and just wants someone to have sex for sex'es sake. He is thinking about you being comfortable, therefore there is no reason for you to be afraid. Besides, if he is experienced, you may even have a good first time, so rather than worrying, you should be excited about it.

[dem862]

Well there was a time when virginity was honored and respected. But no one under 50 will understand, so my practical advice for you is to watch some porn on the internet and act like those women do. That's probably what he is used to anyway if he hasn't had sex in a year.

[searock]

Omg don't act like porn actresses... the sex in porn videos is almost never similar to the real thing. Maybe watch some amateur sex videos (real ones, not fake ones with actors).

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Well there was a time when virginity was honored and respected.

That was before birth control and condoms became largely available, and before women stopped being considered men's property to be handed down from father to husband.

[dem862]

It depends which ones you watch, and what your real thing is like.

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That was before birth control and condoms became largely available, and before women stopped being considered men's property to be handed down from father to husband.

How could you not know that sexual mores eased after the sexual revolution in the late 60's. It amazes me how ignorant young people are.

[chinagirl]

I lost my virginity at the age of 23 and ended up marrying the guy. Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. Just be yourself.