15 guys in a year!?

[happyguy]

Not sure if this is the right forum for this but here we go.

I posted on another forum about this same girl trying to figure out if she was interested, I only just found out the reason for her distance. And its a freakin doozy!!

So I'm an open minded and understanding guy, well I try anyway.
Just started seeing this girl and we are not that serious so if I was to force myself to walk away I could.

She seemed to pull away at first and I assumed she must not be interested, as it turns out after I told her I'm not going to be strung along so farewell she told me the reason for distance. She was in a relationship for a year and a half and after breaking up she was quite hurt and vulnerable, for the next year she proceeded to become as she put it, attached and clingy to men she had met and in the course of only one year slept with 15, yes 15, men. She does not want to get close to anyone for fear of becoming too clingy and having sex or starting a relationship too quickly and in turn pushing someone else away.

Now I'm quite a jealous man, but I do a good job of not making my demons anyone else's problem, I'm not judging her at all. But to me that amount is crazy high, frankly it kind of freaks me the hell out but I'm ashamed for feeling that way, I would never make her feel bad for it. But I consider myself to be a reasonably mature guy and I refuse to be so shallow as to walk away from a lovely and very intelligent and good match because of my own demons. I cannot and will not be that guy.

This amount of men would freak out most other guys, and especially considering I myself am incredibly jealous, but as mentioned I would never let that jealousy cause her or anyone else I'm with pain.

She's obviously giving herself low self worth to give herself to that many men just to keep them around and as such has low self esteem and is in a tough place.

The intelligent thing to do is walk away, but I could see myself enjoying her company and her mine. I don't want some girl to ride of into the sunset with and make passionate love, more than anything I want a like minded soul to simply share company and good times with. I believe I'm strong minded and emotionally equipped to deal with this. Even if it stings quite a bit, I've been through much much worse.

The advice I am looking for here today is the question of can I trust a woman like this, and are there any of you out there who could move past this? Or am I simply a self destructive fool? Anyone with similar experiences? Also...15 guys in a year. That's ****ing crazy right? That's a lot of dicks, I got 15 match sticks and put them in my hand...seemed like alot of match sticks. I'm not an asshole for thinking that that's just too many? Of course I'd never burden her by saying that but damn...I love spare rib and I haven't even eaten close to fifteen spare ribs this year.

[KingZ]

Oh god, why does this topic keep coming up? See any of these:

(longer) [url]https://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/89983-guy-advice-girls-kiss-lot-random-guys.html[/url]

(shorter) [url]https://www.loveforum.net/teenagers-***********/90127-dont-girls-past.html[/url]

[happyguy]

Oh god, why does this topic keep coming up? See any of these

that was completely unhelpful as both of those were about teenegers kissing. I'm in my mid twenties, and looking for advice particular to my situation. Teenagers kissing and adults ****ing large amounts of partners in a year due to there current emotional and mental state are apples and sledgehammers. If you are going to be so unhelpful why bother posting? I sincerely hope you are not a regular advice giver here. You're clearly impatient and narrow minded. Good day.

[searock]

What makes you think that she's willing (and capable) to settle down with you? Would you be able to trust her?

Her becoming "attached and clingy" with guys and her jumping from one guy to the next in fear of becoming too attached and getting hurt are red flags. She simply isn't ready to be in a relationship, IMO.

[happyguy]

I fear you are probably correct searock. Thanks for your time. Unfortunately I'm an idiot and more perhaps more selfish than I'd like to admit. I think part of me realised all this immediately yet I came here looking for some sort of well worded justification to allow me to believe there was a possibility of making it work. I see a beautiful mind and am too keen to share in it. Thanks again for your time

- - - Updated - - -

That's what the optimistic side in me would like to believe. That's how she puts it, that she just wanted something to stick. Perhaps a good nights sleep with further my clarity than continued forum browsing for the moment. Thanks star

[basilandthyme]

How long ago did this happen?

[IndiReloaded]

She's obviously giving herself low self worth to give herself to that many men just to keep them around and as such has low self esteem and is in a tough place.

Why would you want to date a woman like this?

[smiling100]

She seems to be in a similar head space to myself.

I've dated at least 10 women in the past few months. Slept with some & still trying with others. Have 3 dates coming up this week.

I have developed fear of commitment since my last relationship if you can call it that. My ex totally screwed with my head I suspect her ex has done the same.

Been wary of her my friend. The thing is you see her as a challenge because you know you haven't got her. It sux how it all works as the women I'm dating know they have not got me either & it's keeps them interested


Treat em mean keep em kean!



Good luck

[chinagirl]

Don't be upset with KingZ's suggestion. Kissing and having sex for sure are different degrees of sexual activity but the advice remains the same. When it comes to these things, it's what you value and can live with that is important.

[KingZ]

Oh boy, we've got a moron. Did you read either of them?

It doesn't matter if they're fu​cking, kissing, or holding hands. If it makes you uncomfortable, it's against your personal morals, you feel that it was done out of "self-esteem" reasons, or you won't be able to forget about it, then just end the relationship.

There you have it, all typed up nicely, right in front of your stupid face.

[happyguy]

Dear kingz
The advice I was looking for was to try see into her mindset, one which I myself have never experienced so struggle to put myself in her shoes. It has little to do with my morals, I just wanted another perspective to try assertain if I can trust this girl and have a bit of insight into where you have to be to have so many one night stands.

[KingZ]

Dear kingz
The advice I was looking for was to try see into her mindset, one which I myself have never experienced so struggle to put myself in her shoes. It has little to do with my morals, I just wanted another perspective to try assertain if I can trust this girl and have a bit of insight into where you have to be to have so many one night stands.

Who cares?! The fact is, she did it. She didn't hurt anyone (to our knowledge), they were all consensual encounters, and the person she was then isn't the person she is now. Frankly, you're meddling in something that's a bit of none of your business.

Being able to trust her has nothing to do with her past.

[happyguy]

I was looking for advice particular to my situation. Which you have completely misread, its more about her than it is me. I just wanted to further understand her mindset. There you have it, all typed up nicely, right in front of your stupid face for you.

[KingZ]

I was looking for advice particular to my situation. Which you have completely misread, its more about her than it is me.

Lying to Internet strangers is the same as lying to yourself.

This has nothing to do with her. This is all about your own personal level of comfort. You feel threatened by the thought of her having so many different penises inside her (and enjoying it), but you're trying to cover up your insecurities by making it seem like you're only concerned about her. Get real.

[happyguy]

Your so full of shit. You have no idea who I am. But you assume that because it validates your points. I asked a question, you answered a different question. And now I'm the asshole for saying your advice was unhelpful and does not pertain? Tool