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Thread: Lost my virginity feel disconnected..

  1. #1
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    Lost my virginity feel disconnected..

    I took your advice and told him. He was really caring and when we finally had sex he was slow and gentle and loving and after he held me all night and made sure I was okay.Here's my question. Now all of a sudden I feel like I can't look my boyfriend in the eyes and I feel disconnected from him. I just don't know what is sing with me. What do you guys think is going on?

  2. #2
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    Yay - glad it all went well :-).

    As for you feeling disconnected from your boyfriend, what do you mean? You can't talk like before? I don't think it's anything to worry about to be honest. You two have just gone through a huge change in the dynamics of your relationship and now there will be a period of adjustment, as you get to know each other better, sexually. Just enjoy the ride and try not to over think. If you're sexually compatible (and it seems like you are), you will be fine.

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    Maybe you just feel awkward. Its hard after a whole year to get back into the whole lustful state coz it probably feels like you guys skipped that bit and went to being kind of like friends. And now you have to try and see him in that way again. Sex gets better over time. You just need to communicate and tell him what feels good. Its also wise to start exploring your own body because if you dont know what you like, its going to be hard for him to figure it out. Its like trying to avoid broken glass barefoot and blindfolded...your going to have to guide him if you want your sex life to be good. And dont fake it
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    What worries me is I all of a sudden can't talk to him, I can't even look at him and I feel like I don't deserve him like I lost my confidence and from what I have heard about sex is that sex will bring you closer together but I can't feel farther apart right now..

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    And I will never explore my own body just no

  5. #5
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    My advice is to knock it the hell off he is good to you stop being distant before he leaves you.

  6. #6
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    I remember feeling awkward around the first guy I had sex with...the weird feeling lasted about 24hrs. How long since you had sex?
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by virgingirl21 View Post
    And I will never explore my own body just no
    Why not? The answer to this question may also be the explanation for which you feel like you do. You say that you have lost your confidence and feel like you don't deserve him: maybe you view sex as something "dirty" that makes you less valuable?

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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    I remember feeling awkward around the first guy I had sex with...the weird feeling lasted about 24hrs. How long since you had sex?
    Its was yesterday night

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    Because I don't need to, Idk what would happen if my bf caught me, it's just weird.

  9. #9
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    Why won't you explore your own body?

    Frankly: If I were a guy, I wouldn't even date a girl that had never had an orgasm by her own hand. You "non-explorer types" are too uptight for my liking... but hey, I'm not a guy.

    Have you EVER had an orgasm, virgin?
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  10. #10
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    Yes I have wakeup my bf did oral on me before sex and I had two orgasms

    And I just don't feel I need to it's weird and my bf doesn't and what if I got caught

  11. #11
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    Not that I really know, because I wasn't there, but I'm 99% sure you didn't have an orgasm, let alone two.

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    Well not that I would know but I think I did

  13. #13
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    Well, it's good on you.. you go girl I'll assume you did. lol

    You can orgasm. I'm assuming then that oral is the norm for the two of you for the last year and that you're only a virgin when it comes to intercourse. Yes? No?

    As far as masturbating its a normal thing to do but if you're not into it then who am I to keep at ya particularly if you can orgasm easily.

    How do you know your boyfriend doesn't?

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    Quote Originally Posted by virgingirl21 View Post
    Well not that I would know but I think I did
    lol... Uhm, I"ll take that back. You'd know if you did.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  14. #14
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    Yesterday night? Just give it time. And make sure you're not expecting too much emotional stuff from the act of sex
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  15. #15
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    Well kinda Idk I like have jerked him off once or twice I will never go down on him tried that once won't do it again and he's tried oral before but I never felt comfortable when he first tried it last night with everything he did to relax me I finally trusted him enough to let him

    As far mastubating I'm more afraid then anything to do it I just Idk

    He told me so

    I did Im pretty positive

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