In a LDR how can you tell if that person might now be living with someone?

[anya_may21]

He won't call me the alst month and some, pick up calls, I have to know later call back at time he says, claims his phone is on vibrate and misses calls???? Won't skype or IM weekly now, just stopped.

I asked what is going on and he says nothing, I'm paranoid and he is at work or out alot last month plus???? I don't have any way to confirm truth other than asking him, which I did.

He has internet on his phone so can contact my via mails, work and regular and IM any time, and doesn't.

Thanks. Cheers.
xx

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Hello? hello

[basilandthyme]

Have you considered that perhaps he's simply lost interest in you and has moved on? Time to stop calling him - I doubt he'll care much.

[anya_may21]

I did think that after he tried to make me feel paranoid at ever having thought it. I also thought he might have a new room mate, female, or male or another GF who he moved in with

All I can do is ask, I can't fly over there, he is in the UK and I am in Australia. We have had a relationship for over a year after meeting in London while I was on a holiday with GFs.

I asked him if he wants out of this why not say , I think we should take a break. Why lie and say nothing is wrong he is only busy.

He still texts a lot, only the rest has gotten odd. I'm busy too but I always make time for him, and us. Why can't guys be honest, stringing along is cruel

I am scared to not contact, call for the exact reason you mentioned, I'll find out he won't care or try to contact to see if I am alright and 1 year of my life was wasted.

Thankyou, Basilandthyme. xx

[basilandthyme]

Anya, it's better to find out you've wasted one year of your life than to continue on and then find out that you've wasted 2 or 3 years of your life.

[anya_may21]

I wish I didn't even waste a minute nothing from him today at all. His summer, should have seen this happening.

Wise words, thank you.

[anya_may21]

I called him today after breakfast and it rang to VM so I left a VM asking him to call me back and he did 10 mins later. Had a 20 minute chat and said in my evening his am we can again, it will probably be the talk, but least it will be finally addressed.

[Exeter19]

do you have his home phone # or only his cell? because if you had the home call at times you know he wouldn't be home and see if another answers the phone.

sounds like he doesn't want someone seeing him on a chat with you or hear him on the phone with you and if he is your bf then that looks shady whatever way you look at it. hope you get your answers.

[remote]

I have been in a LDR for almost 3 years. There are a lot of things needed in a LDR to make it work: communication, openness, honesty, trust, etc. If he can't be honest and open with you about everything, it will be hard to make it work. It takes 2 to make a relationship work, whether it's LDR or not.
Regardless, hope your call with him went well?

[anya_may21]

To Exeter19:
Funnily enough, I don't but he only has my cell phone number too.

I thought exactly that, like guys who won't tell their girl I love you on the phone because he is in the room with another girl.

To remote:

3 years, how did you make it work for so long, do you live in the same country or different countries like us and do you visit each other monthly?

With the LD we cannot, sometimes who you fall in love with isn't convenient for loving each other

I am honest, sometimes brutally and want the same back but all I get is I am being paranoid, nothing is wrong. I got more of the same with a new promise to talk more pick up calls.

I don't believe him.

Thank you x

[michelle23]

Why are you wasting time on this guy? Australia may as well be in outer space its so far from the UK. You cant seriously expect to have a normal relationship with someone who lives that far away.. Hes likely moved on and is trying to get rid of you but you wont take the hint. LDR's dont work. Your not having sex, theres no affection, no intimacy, no quality time, no seeing each other regularly, going on dates-all the things that normal couples do. Thats not a relationship. People are emotionally fragile. We dont like being a alone or feeling lonely. Your not meeting any of his needs because you are too far away. Its impossible. I hope he has moved on and I hope you will be smart enough to do the same. I cant believe anyone would spend a whole year skyping their bf.. are you not bored to tears, lonely, sexually frustrated and exhausted from all the stress of constantly wondering where he is and who hes with?? Its really unhealthy and I wonder what is wrong with you that you will stay in such a bad situation for so long.

[remote]

Hi, we live in different countries. I live in Singapore, he is in the US.
It's not easy. We see each other usually every 6 months or so, the longest was almost a year.
He recently went back after a 2-month visit, and I will be visiting for xmas.

I think the reason why it worked for us is because we both make the effort to talk to each other everyday. We hardly go more than 2 days without talking, unless we are traveling to places without much internet connectivity.

Yup, I agree that we sometimes fall in love with someone who isn't convenient for us. It's even harder if you can't trust the person.

Hang in there, and good luck with your LDR! I really believe in LDR, just like any other relationships.

[michelle23]

Its so co-dependent it makes me cringe. sorry but your bf will probably meet someone else, start crushing on her and then dump you coz she can give him all the things you cant regularly and I am not just talking about sex. LDR's are so boring

I seriously believe the only reason anyone would choose an LDR like this is because they think nobody else will want them but then they meet someone in real life who does and there online relationship gets old real fast..

sorry I know thats not what you want to hear but I would be wasting my time and yours here if I lied and said "oh its like a fairytale.. when you finally move to be together.. its gonna be awesome" it wont. youll probably get to know each other better in a week living together than you have in a whole year talking online and you will probably hate each other

[anya_may21]

Gee, thanks for all those kind words, Michelle.

Remote:

Oh, I see I thought you both lived in the same country but your relationship is very LDR like mine then, so you understand this.

It's nice to see/hear about a success story.

Ours has been a year and we saw twice, the price on air fare is expensive as you know, that was why after school I wanted to move to the UK. All he needs to do is be honest about wanting the same things still. We have longer days without contact, but it never bothered me until he wasn't picking up calls, returning them. Like I said in another thread all he has to do is say F.O. and that would be that.

Thank you for the good luck for us.