Wanted to thank everyone who has replied to threads. Had a feeling some have been peed off with the repetition but I'll be honest. Ur all right about my low self esteem and my inability to see what's in front of me. If I explain (and this isn't a sob story) my first bf at 15 just got out of prison for armed robbery and attempted murder. Second was a control freak who threw me thro a glass door. My only marriage was full of affairs and as we tried for a baby (sibling for my daughter) he already had someone else pregnant. I dnt trust, I crave love and my confidence and self esteem is awful. I'm having counselling for this now (as well as other stuff I won't go into). So yes I did throw everything into this one person and keep asking questions so I'm sorry for those I've annoyed. I didn't know where else to go and doubt my own judgements always. Thanku to those of u who understood tho and everyone who gave opinions. I am grateful xx