Dating a Flake

[DatingDistress]

Gentlemen o love forum, I need your perspective...

Here's a quick background of the situation:

• Dating this guy for two months
• No sex yet, everything is G-rated thus far (kissing, cuddling, that cute stuff)
• I've met his parents (he lives with them while in grad school)
• I've met his friends
• We're starting to get comfortable with each other
• For the most part, we make each other feel GOOD

Sounds perfect, right? No. He is kind of flakey and it drives me crazy. He makes a lot of 'unofficial' plans. For example, yesterday we hung out and when he drove me home, he said something along the lines of What are you doing tomorrow" "Blah blah I'll be home at night" "Okay, well we should watch a movie or something" Anyways, I texted him today and said I was coming home and he said to hang out tomorrow.

LONG. STORY. SHORT. He does this a lot. It makes me feel like he doesn't respect my time or has found something better to do. His personality is laid back and maybe a little forgetful, so I get that. But I still feel like shit when it happens. So that's that.

Am I being pathetic? Am I being uptight? Does he really not care? Do I deserve better?

Any tips for dealing with this?

HELP.

[nico88]

Are you two exclusive or could it be possible he is casually dating around?

Regardless if he is seeing someone else or not i do think you getting upset over him being flaky is justified. Seriously who has time for that shit?

Communication is always key to any healthy relationship so just let him know it bugs you when your plans fall through. If you talk to him about it and he doesn't step up his game then end things and go find someone else who appreciates you and is respectful of your time.

[DatingDistress]

No official talk on exclusivity...I feel as though that's the next corner stone. Pretty sure he's not dating anyone else just based on certain things. He has invited me over to dinner with his parents. However, I think we're both entitled to date other people until we have .... "the talk"....

I hate this because I like him. But I also like to be treated as a top priority. Maybe that's selfish on my part. I know we just started dating, but logic isn't helping my emotions at this point. I don't want to be someone's second option and that's how I feel sometimes.

How do I bring it up? I don't want to sound like a nag...I act annoyed when he does it, but obviously that's not working.

[nico88]

Honestly, we can't read minds and we're not really that perceptive haha..so you just acting annoyed probably isn't gunna get through to him.

If you're not comfortable bringing it up to him randomly then wait for the next time he bails on plans and tell him right then and there. I get that you don't want to seem like a nag but it's possible he doesn't even realize this is a problem you know? So it's best to just tell him straight out that it kinda is.

[lost_man]

A case of opposites attracting, briefly. You sound fun and intelligent, he sounds frankly a bit vague and irritating.

Two months with no sex yet you've met parents? It might sound sweet and loving but you are I assume not both 14 so really he's just not man-ing up. I don't want to dismiss the positives in your relationship but I suspect he's going to drive you potty in the long term hun, sorry.

[dem862]

It sounds like he has a life, and you are an accessory. If he wanted to be more committed and more direct with you, he would. If you keep trying to change him, he is going to resent you. I suggest you develop a life of your own so that you aren't worrying about him so much. Either that or drop him and find a guy who worships you the way you want.