Hi everyone, I'm new here. I know the topic name is a bit vague, but I really didn't know what to write specifically. I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve by posting this, if just getting this off my chest, or getting advice or both. But I felt like I needed to write something.
Just a little background, I'm a 28 year old guy from Japan, I've never been in an actual real relationship (only flings, for some reason I always have problems with girls that I really like... more on that later. But I've never had any problems with flings, they usually go great and are fun), I'm an all around nice guy, smart, with lots of different interests and many hobbies. I think I'm a different, interesting person. Now onto the actual problem: for some reason, with every girl with whom I actually felt a connection and wanted to pursue something more serious, I get the same results: we go out, we really enjoy each other's company, she shows a LOT of interest (of course, not all of them, but it's been the norm) and often find stuff to do so the night is not over, but the next day (or the next) most of my attempts of communication are in vain. I either get completely ignored, or get a very dry response. Usually it just stops there because I don't see the interest anymore and don't feel like diving in too deep and get hurt. Only once I got really hurt from this, because this girl ignored me for a few weeks and then out of nowhere invited me to her home, and then more ignoring, and another invitation, so everytime we went out, we kinda had to start "all over" (you know, we feel all weird and anxious as if it was a first date), and eventually she just disappeared.
I don't get it.
Two days ago, I was out in a pub and a girl struck up a conversation with me (none of us was drunk, just for the record). We find out our line of work is actually in the same area, so we just spent hours talking. She kept getting closer to me and finding reasons to touch me in the arm (and I reciprocated). Before parting ways, we exchanged information (e-mail and mobile numbers), and she left first. After a while I also left and we bumped into each other again on the way to the train station. She actually had to go to a different place near the station but decided to accompany me to the station and stayed there with me until the train arrived. We said our goodbyes and said we should keep in touch and do something again.
Now, yesterday I sent her a text saying it was great to have met her, and that we should do something whenever she was free. No reply at all. I know it's been one day since that, and I'm probably over exaggerating (especially since the text doesn't even show up as read yet), but can you blame me? This is so familiar! It happens everytime! Maybe tomorrow I'll have a reply, and we go out again, that would be amazing as I feel we really clicked, but my brain just keeps saying "nope, not gonna happen". I'm getting tired of feeling like this, and having this happen to me.
Is it something I'm doing wrong? I don't want flings anymore, I want a relationship, I'm tired of starting to fall in love only to have it slip from my fingers over and over again.
Any advice would be amazing... I really don't know what to think or how to proceed.