I need advice dealing with my "ex friend"

[itlnbuc]

I had a crush on this girl all of high school but never really knew her. Then we had a few classes senior year and sat next to each other in both of them. We immediately hit it off and for the next 4 months we got really close and my little crush had developed into a huge one and I really caught feelings for her. I tried to make it clear I was into her and she showed all the signs of liking me back, friends of ours said she did, and I even got asked twice if we were dating. Then in December my feelings for became open and she acted a little surprised and told me she liked me but was not looking for a relationship at the time for a couple of reasons. But then she ended the conversation by saying "I hope you understand I am not crossing out the future between us". I thought it was a clear rejection at first but when she said that I thought I still had a chance. SO for eight months, I dealt with her and the whole time I figured she understood I still liked her. But either she forgot or she is a spineless b*itch because I was really friendzoned the entire time and knew it when she came to me about her and another guy having sex and the condom breaking. Apparently, I was the only person she felt comfortable going to it about. The next day, I snapped and told her I did not want her in my life anymore and we graduated a week later.

She has tried texting me a few times this last month to save our "relationship" but I shut her down last time she tried. She still favorites my stuff on social media. And we are both going to community college next month and I will most likely see her there a lot and might have a class with her since we are at the same intellectual levels. I won't be able to avoid her then and I really do not have a clue what to do if she tries to say anything to me if we do see each other. One of my friends even thinks she might actually want a relationship now the she sees what she had and misses it and all that other crap and to be honest, I don't know if I would reject her if she tried. I hate her for what she has done to me and do not want her in my life but at the same time can not stop thinking about her and feel like I still have feelings for her. Any advice?

[nico88]

Sometimes when you're friends first and start to develop feelings for one another it's normal to be scared to take the relationship to a romantic level. Sounds like maybe that could have been what happened with her. Or she just sees you as her fluffer aka a guy she wants to have around because she knows you like her and wants an ego boost. I really couldn't tell you which being that I don't know the chick.

I am a strong believe in second chances. If you want her in your life, give her one more chance. Maybe it's like your friends say and she realized what she lost when you removed yourself from the picture. If not and the same shit happens as before then let her know that's it and end things between you two for good.

[itlnbuc]

Sometimes when you're friends first and start to develop feelings for one another it's normal to be scared to take the relationship to a romantic level. Sounds like maybe that could have been what happened with her. Or she just sees you as her fluffer aka a guy she wants to have around because she knows you like her and wants an ego boost. I really couldn't tell you which being that I don't know the chick.

I am a strong believe in second chances. If you want her in your life, give her one more chance. Maybe it's like your friends say and she realized what she lost when you removed yourself from the picture. If not and the same shit happens as before then let her know that's it and end things between you two for good.

Normally, I agree with you and second chances but in this situation, and my other friend showed me this quote, i also agree with this "if you didn't realize what you had until it was gone, then you didn't deserve it anyways". I really think that is true and for me, if I took her back and she did want a relationship, that would make me the second, and even third choice. Like i said, I dealt with her and part of dealing with her would be her fall back after things fizzled with not one but two guys. No one likes being the back up plan. I know I do not want her in my life but I can't get over her and I fear if I see her again, it will ruin all the progress I have made and I know going to the same school with her is really gonna be tough trying to avoid her. Im just looking for something I can do or say if she does approach me that will show her im over it, even if I am really not on the inside.

[nico88]

I gotcha. Just be straight forward with her then and tell her you don't want anything to do with her. Simple and pretty effective..