What are my feelings? Rejecting love over lust????

[cat_athena]

Ok, I have a friend, yea right, you already know who I'm talking about. But I'll just write down the facts very simple and clear, hopefully you can give me advice cause I desperately need it.

-"She" is currently 23
-Studied hard all her life cause she wanted to make it into a good uni, finally gets in, but it's a tough career, thinks she is stupid now, keeps studying hard or she'll never graduate
-Too busy for love, I have a test tomorrow. She told herself
-Ridiculously shy with social anxiety and low self esteem, thought she was an asexual worm pretty much her entire teenage years
-She haven't dated (keeps hope she will), doesn't have a clue on how to flirt or do anything remotely romantic/sexual that can attract the opposite sex
-Then finally realizes... I'm in my early 20s, I don't have a boyfriend, I feel unloved, I wonder if I'll ever get married, I'm not normal, I think I'd like a boyfriend
-A guy from a forum, just like her (socially akward) appears and shows a lot of interest in her.
-They talk to each other for over 8 months and the guy helps her with her insecurities
-She starts thinking she is not that stupid and unattractive and gains a bit of confidence thanks to this guy
-The guy confesses his love and asks her to be his girlfriend
-She says yes cause she doesn't think anyone is going to love her as much as this guy (the guy is very in love)

But!
-She really doesn't like him physically, so no butterflies or racing heart or any of those crazy responses people in love have when they see their crush.
-He really seems like the perfect guy if only she'd feel something.


So... what should I do? I'm not in love with him?I honestly feel like a shallow, hormonal, evil woman pondering so much on the fact that I don't like him physically. I know looks don’t last forever and this much love he offers me I feel I'm being ungrateful, because he has helped me so much to overcome a lot of insecurities but I don't picture our future like he does. I even think and I feel shameful to think this way that I'll be embarrassed to introduce him to my friends as my boyfriend. Has anyone felt this way before? I'd appreciate any guidance.

Thank you for your time.

[TablesandChairs]

I don't date people I'm not physically attracted to. I don't string them along either. Attraction is important.

[supertwonk]

Attraction is important but is not at all based on looks . However, i wouldnt go as far as to say you are stringing him along.. you i would guess are feeling a little under pressure because it would appear his feelings have developed faster than yours.. and this can cause major problems if not dealt with.

You dont sound to me like you are running from the hills from this guy so... be VERY HONEST WITH HIM.. i dont mean say something like omg youre so damn ugly LOL .. BUT EXPLAIN THAT IT IS TAKING YOU A LITTLE LONGER TO DEVELOP YOUR FEELINGS.

Cool him down and buy yourself the time to work out your feelings or see if they come.

YOU ARE NOT BEING UNGRATEFUL

My advice having been where you are is take your time & make the right decision because as i learnt the hard way you dont realise what you have till its gone.

good luck