I think it's good that at least you are aware that you are attracted to emotionally unavailable men. If you can reprogram your mind to consciously want to be attracted to emotionally healthy & available men, that would be best. Truth is, many women aren't able to do this. Not on their own without some help.
You also mentioned you're wondering if you don't give men validation for them to feel driven to pursue you. Men do appreciate encouragement from time to time, but they DO NOT NEED you to give them the go-ahead to pursue you. They have natural hunter instincts and they will go after women they can't help but feel attracted to.
I trust that when you say you're physically attractive, interesting, have good social skills.. you really are. So if there's any valid reason why men aren't following through, it's HOW you relate to them.
Another thing I want you to be certain of is...what kind of man are you looking for? Be honest with yourself, and write down the qualities you want in your man. Thereafter, check if you have qualities that will make a good fit for the man you want!
There's only so much I can type here. Hope that helps. PM me if you need further advice.
Helping women become The Lady Men Want...To Date, To Love and to Keep Forever. www.theladymenwant.com