Scared I may not be good enough for her

[dontaskme]

Only tables and chairs understands the true logic of the importance of economic stability. Apparently, the other posters have no idea on the statistics of how many couples have divorced due to money issues and the lack of it. If one person loses a job, it is imperative that the other partner will be able to support the family. If one has no education, it is highly unlikely that they will be able to compete with someone who has a degree.

Numerous studies have been done on the difference between the pay scale of someone who has a HS diploma versus a college degree and there is a huge disparity between those two.

Your ignorance in all of this is so profound that I'm not going to waste anymore time discussing with you people. Apparently, you are all content as to where you are in your jobs (I would not even call them careers) and have no desire nor the ambition to move your jobs and actually have a career, into something better.

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And Jasmine 87, you need to practice more on how to argue your case and actually refute my point. Your reasoning is weak and is based on emotions versus facts.

Edited to add: And your statements are all over the place, like your brain.

[Yanky]

Several have come forward and said that they make more money than their boyfriend, and that it's not a problem.

As Jasmine put it, two contributors is enough.

Just because one person prefers to live a stress free and money driven-secure lifestyle, does not mean that your next door neighbour wants the same.

The OP's complaint is not related to him believing that he's poor. He never said that. His concern lies within the realm of how his pay might 'appear' in comparison to his Girlfriend's.

Some of you are enabling his insecurities to run wild!

If he chooses to change his career path, great, but he should consider moving in a direction that will appeal to HIM, not to women who prefer men who make substantial amounts of money. My Mother gave some of her salary away to a charity, bringing her salary down to the same rate as my Father's.

If you prefer security, and to have your whole existence planned out in front of you over 'the ride and experience that is life', money over job happiness, and sex over making-love, then go right ahead and obtain that. But don't project your own wants and needs down the OPs throat.

Again, walking out due to a 'money' drama, and turning bills and what not into a main priority, in the FIRST WORLD, is a choice, not a requirement. Create the life that 'you' want. So, in saying that, if a woman walks away because she's too weak to stand up for what TRULY matters, then it's because she's after security. By choice. Families don't just 'fall apart' unless the foundation (love) never really existed to begin with, or there is a refusal to face challenges, but that is nobody's problem but the person who walked out.

Don't take advantage of life to that end is my advice to those of you who believe that making heaps of money is why we're here. However, if that's your belief, that's your belief. But acknowledge that your belief has no right to throw stones at another's.

Stop scaring the poor guy, and show some respect for the beliefs of others. The '''''amount'''''' of money that he makes is a non-issue. Unless he's with a woman who prefers private health care to public, or first class to coach because she feels the 'he' isn't enough for 'her' - then he should run away as far as he can.

[jakeyfb]

"Only tables and chairs understands the true logic of the importance of economic stability."

I agree that economic stability is important and can see where you are coming from TO AN EXTENT. The issue I feel is on your your skewed perception of how much money is necessary to secure a family and the importance of both partners earning the same.

As has already been mentioned, she will likely be able to get a nice well paying job. Are you expecting that if she wants to have a family she'll throw away her job and settle down into a neat little gender role that will force him to become sole breadwinner? Are you sexist or do you just look down your nose at house-husbands?

Secondly, while it is true that money is one of the biggest factors in relationship break-ups, you fail to mention that one of the big factors in this isn't just income, but spending. There are many people from low to average wages (and even above) who live well outside their means. Funnily enough, most of this spending does not come from the person who is usually earning the money but the other partner buying luxuries that they don't strictly need.

Third, not every person has the academic ability to succeed or enter college. Do you turn your nose up at all of these people inherently because of their lack of qualifications? I think you likely do because you have shown here to be an outright snob.

Fourth, the kind of jobs you have used as examples to show a more acceptable income are crazy. That is not the money needed to support a family, that's the kind of money you can have to live in LUXURY.

I've met plenty of your kind while I studied at university, the women who hang of the rich guys who'll get a job in daddy's company like leeches who want an easy ride and a pampered ass lifestyle because that is what the man is supposed to provide. I found it repulsive. I don't care if a woman earns less than me in a relationship. If we get a to a point where family becomes something seriously thought about, I'd want to make sure that we could earn enough together but I'd hardly call her a lesser being for not being naturally gifted enough.

But that's the thing, isn't it? If the genders were reversed, I doubt you'd see as much of an issue with it, would you?

"Apparently, you are all content as to where you are in your jobs (I would not even call them careers) and have no desire nor the ambition to move your jobs and actually have a career, into something better."

Before you go ahead and call me out of line for my previous statement, I'd take a look at the quote above. That's rather judgemental and presumptuous of you. I have two Master's degrees and am currently looking into practical entry level positions because I want to work in positions that require both my degree and some practical lab experience. It's interesting that you chose to exemplify jobs that once you have the qualifications your straight into a high paying job because it doesn't cross your mind that some people who are lower paid may still have ambition or a desire for more and what they are earning now may be no reflection on what they are earning in five years time.

If someone were to have a problem with what I'm earning now, then screw them. If they are more worried about the short term cash flow before you even get thinking about things like children then they aren't worth bothering with.

[dontaskme]

I will only respond to you because you are the only one worth responding to...sort of anyway.

As has already been mentioned, she will likely be able to get a nice well paying job. Are you expecting that if she wants to have a family she'll throw away her job and settle down into a neat little gender role that will force him to become sole breadwinner? Are you sexist or do you just look down your nose at house-husbands?

Where did you see from my post that one of them will quit their job once they have a family????

[/QUOTE] Secondly, while it is true that money is one of the biggest factors in relationship break-ups, you fail to mention that one of the big factors in this isn't just income, but spending. There are many people from low to average wages (and even above) who live well outside their means. Funnily enough, most of this spending does not come from the person who is usually earning the money but the other partner buying luxuries that they don't strictly need.[/QUOTE]

Support your ^^^ case by literature review.

Studies done by the way on effects of economic pressures on a family:

Over 400 married couples participated in a 3-year prospective study of economic pressure and marital relations. The research (a) empirically evaluated the family stress model of economic stress influences on marital distress and (b) extended the model to include specific interactional characteristics of spouses hypothesized to protect against economic pressure. Findings provided support for the basic mediational model, which proposes that economic pressure increases risk for emotional distress, which, in turn, increases risk for marital conflict and subsequent marital distress.

Another study

We propose a model of family conflict and coercion that links economic stress in family life to adolescent symptoms of internalizing and externalizing emotions and behaviors. The 180 boys and 198 girls in the study were living in intact families in the rural Midwest, an area characterized by economic decline and uncertainty. Theoretical constructs in the model were measured using both trained observer and family member reports. These adolescents and their parents were interviewed each year for 3 years during the seventh, eighth, and ninth grades. Our theoretical model proposes that economic pressure experienced by parents increases parental dysphoria and marital conflict as well as conflicts between parents and children over money. High levels of spousal irritability, coupled with coercive exchanges over money matters, were expected to be associated with greater hostility in general by parents toward their children. These hostile/coercive exchanges were expected to increase the likelihood of adolescent emotional and behavioral problems. Overall, results were consistent with the proposed model. Moreover, the hypothesized processes applied equally well to the behavior of mothers and fathers, as well as sons and daughters.

I like to prove my point with literature verification so you will know that these are FACTS!

[/QUOTE]Third, not every person has the academic ability to succeed or enter college. Do you turn your nose up at all of these people inherently because of their lack of qualifications? [/QUOTE]

True but he didn't say he doesn't have the academic ability, did he? He only mentioned that it is not for him. So where are you drawing your conclusion that he does not have the ability to succeed in College. He didn't say why it's not for him?


[/QUOTE]Fourth, the kind of jobs you have used as examples to show a more acceptable income are crazy. That is not the money needed to support a family, that's the kind of money you can have to live in LUXURY. [/QUOTE]

Those were just examples BTW. Plenty of jobs that he can land way better than what he has now if and when he gets a degree, even if it's just a two year degree is way better than just having a HS diploma.

[/QUOTE]I've met plenty of your kind while I studied at university, the women who hang of the rich guys who'll get a job in daddy's company like leeches who want an easy ride and a pampered ass lifestyle because that is what the man is supposed to provide. I found it repulsive. I don't care if a woman earns less than me in a relationship. If we get a to a point where family becomes something seriously thought about, I'd want to make sure that we could earn enough together but I'd hardly call her a lesser being for not being naturally gifted enough.[/QUOTE]


My salary is six figures by the way, so who is being the judgmental prick now? And FYI, I've worked hard to be where I'm at and I don't need any one to support me but I'm sure as hell that I would not date a HS grad.

[/QUOTE]But that's the thing, isn't it? If the genders were reversed, I doubt you'd see as much of an issue with it, would you?[/QUOTE]

You don't even know me judgmental prick.

[/QUOTE]Before you go ahead and call me out of line for my previous statement, I'd take a look at the quote above. That's rather judgemental and presumptuous of you. I have two Master's degrees and am currently looking into practical entry level positions because I want to work in positions that require both my degree and some practical lab experience. It's interesting that you chose to exemplify jobs that once you have the qualifications your straight into a high paying job because it doesn't cross your mind that some people who are lower paid may still have ambition or a desire for more and what they are earning now may be no reflection on what they are earning in five years time.[/QUOTE]

What you failed to emphasize is that having a dual advanced degree, you have a chance moving up the ladder versus sitting in a dead end job.

[/QUOTE]

I had expected a better argument coming from someone who has a dual masters degree.

[Yanky]

OHH LMAO.

Dontaskme,

This is not about the OP being stuck in a dead end job. This is about 'you' being unsatisfied with his financial situation. You are projecting. Even if the OP did hold down a dead end job, which he happened to LOVE (perhaps it serves the community???), there would be absolutely nothing wrong with that. And no, I did not just suggest that he loves his 'current' job. I'm hypothesizing, whilst emphasizing the beauty behind the term 'selfless', and the importance of him pursuing a career, in the future, that will excite 'him'.

Have you ever had your car serviced, or taken a trip to the grocery store and had your bags packed for you? Ever needed a plumber?

Also, since you will be holding down a well-paying job at some stage in your life, I am sure you will become well aquainted with child-care workers.

If you or a family member ever require urgent assistance of any kind, such as a medic, firefighter or a nurse, would you not appreciate their life-saving services?

Some women aren't fazed by cash-flow as they appreciate that the most relied-upon individuals receive very little^^^. Fact.

Clearly you know absolutely nothing about the economy, let alone the system that allows for you to live the life that you are living.

I have come across several couples who make very little money. They are also some of the happiest people I have met to date.

So, before you continue to charge at those of us who are trying our darndest to warn the OP about Gold-Diggers, perhaps you should consider replacing your 'argument' with an open mind, and a little respect, as opposed to remaining utterly ignorant to the opinions of others.

By God have I seen low-income families, even single-parent families, thrive. Fact.

Sorry to have to say it, but from my perspective - your 'argument' is one-dimensional, vague, insulting, and very loosely tied to reality.

[fearoflove]

A decent women doesn't necessarily choose a guy who is the richest but one who loves her, treats her well, and have a willingness to improve. If you are worried about not being on her level, work on improving yourself so that you achieve some level of success.

[dontaskme]

A decent women doesn't necessarily choose a guy who is the richest but one who loves her, treats her well, and have a willingness to improve. If you are worried about not being on her level, work on improving yourself so that you achieve some level of success.

That's what I'm talking about. At least another one in this forum who makes some sense!

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OHH LMAO.

Dontaskme,

This is not about the OP being stuck in a dead end job. This is about 'you' being unsatisfied with his financial situation. You are projecting. Even if the OP did hold down a dead end job, which he happened to LOVE (perhaps it serves the community???), there would be absolutely nothing wrong with that. And no, I did not just suggest that he loves his 'current' job. I'm hypothesizing, whilst emphasizing the beauty behind the term 'selfless', and the importance of him pursuing a career, in the future, that will excite 'him'.

Have you ever had your car serviced, or taken a trip to the grocery store and had your bags packed for you? Ever needed a plumber?

Also, since you will be holding down a well-paying job at some stage in your life, I am sure you will become well aquainted with child-care workers.

If you or a family member ever require urgent assistance of any kind, such as a medic, firefighter or a nurse, would you not appreciate their life-saving services?

Some women aren't fazed by cash-flow as they appreciate that the most relied-upon individuals receive very little^^^. Fact.

Clearly you know absolutely nothing about the economy, let alone the system that allows for you to live the life that you are living.

I have come across several couples who make very little money. They are also some of the happiest people I have met to date.

So, before you continue to charge at those of us who are trying our darndest to warn the OP about Gold-Diggers, perhaps you should consider replacing your 'argument' with an open mind, and a little respect, as opposed to remaining utterly ignorant to the opinions of others.

By God have I seen low-income families, even single-parent families, thrive. Fact.

Sorry to have to say it, but from my perspective - your 'argument' is one-dimensional, vague, insulting, and very loosely tied to reality.

Poor argument, I can't be bothered with it. Waste of time.

[Yanky]

You and your one-dimensional argument are a waste of time. If you agree with fearoflove's words, then you're agreeing with mine, too. LOL.

By the way - One does not require a 'degree' to succeed. I have one myself, and it has proved to be completely useless. I gained a better job in an industry that doesn't require a degree.

Perhaps you should consider educating YOURSELF. Clearly you need it. Start with the economy. Then consider the architecture behind a well-constructed argument.