So I have been with my bf for 6 years now. I like pretty much everything about our relationship, but there is one thing that I hate and can't shake. He has this one thing that turns him on or whatever. I feel stupid even saying it. He likes to think about me with someone else, like when we are sexting or whatever. He doesn't even ask for me to "tell" him about me and him together anymore. It's always me with someone else, or cheating. I am faithful to him and he is to me as well. That much I know. I have told him before that I don't really like doing this and the other day I really told him that it does hurt me very much thinking that maybe this would change things.
Things did not go as I thought they would. He started to get upset, telling me that he felt bad and saying things like he wishes he could just run (get away from it). He got more and more upset and I felt bad for making him feel that way but I still wanted to show that I was hurt. Well guess what ended up happening? I wanted him to be happy and he said to try something to make him feel better. Yeah. I ended up doing the thing that I hate. All he had to say after was that he was appreciative of me doing that. No apology. He apologized the next day, but it was just for the fact that it made me not sleep well.
Why are my feelings in this not important? Why does he want something that he knows hurts me so incredibly bad? And wants it right after I tell him that it hurts me. I don't know what to do anymore. I love him very much, this is just the one thing that I don't know what to do with. Please help...