Hey guys,
Being anonymous helps here. I know some of you read my only other thread regarding my sweetheart and I; how we were on our way to my siblings wedding and how some of you wondered how that was going to go.
Well, it went. I'll tell you that. It went.
My sweets is a hermit. We both are. Two hermits that do alright here at home but every Flippin time we leave our house, that whole Jeckle/Hyde syndrome kicks in for him.
How desperately I wished it would be alright. This was my Family after all. Surely he would get a grip and be on his best behavior. For the most part he did alright. I know he was uncomfy around the strangers. We both were. But many were my Family watching ever so closely. So of course the day of the wedding once the drinks were being offered and some time passed, out came Hyde in full regalia. We argued in our car and missed dinner. My dear cousin came out to get us. My face was stained with tears so she helped tidy me up so others would not see me in distress. She was great. She spoke with both of us and helped to return reason.
The rest of the night went good. We danced. Sure, he held me close and at times moved me around like a rag doll but only bumped into a few understanding fellow dancers and it was a wedding so this was expected, no problem there.
Then once the night was over at the hall we all returned to the hotel. I had hoped he would join all of us out front as we continued the night but he stayed in the room.
When I got back, well, that's when stuff hit the fan. He said some mean things. Mean and I mean totally uncalled for loud and cruel things.. And I, in my state, jumped on the bed and wrapped my legs around his torso and held him down asking him to keep his voice down for family members were in the rooms around us. He did not keep his voice down. So I lost it. I ripped his shirt while saying things like, "this is my family's wedding, of all places and times to do this, why now? I think I called him stupid, an asshole. You know, the usual suspects. Not a good moment for me. But then he threw me across half the room and I struck my elbow on the mini fridge and hit the floor Hard. At which point I bolted up and jumped on him again and ripped his shirt even more. Then he threw me again and I went flying onto the floor with a very loud thump.
The following morning he did not join me for brunch with the Family.
I could sense that some had heard thumps and bangs from our room. Needless to say, I was distraught. My Family likes him. When he is himself he's wonderful.
We are home now. My Mother called and I lied to her. She asked if he's ever gotten physical or mean. I lie because most of the time he's the perfect mate, when he's sober. I think to myself, all couples get a little physical from time to time do they not?
Sure, throwing some one who weighs 100 pounds less will have measurable effects but I was holding him down and ripping his shirt. Note: I do not usually do this but was uber protective over my Family and really upset with him for yelling at me such horrible things when my Family members were in the next rooms. This man I brag about, saying such things and so loud. I admit, I wanted to cover up his foul mouth with a pillow so they wouldn't hear.
Anyway, we are back now. I am humbled by this. How I wished this weekend could have happened without Hyde rearing his ugly head. But he came out and boy was it a doozy. Now I'm that woman who lies to her Family about stuff.
What I am asking is this. Do all couples get physical from time to time? Let's be honest here. He was out of his element. WE both were.
Am I making excuses or is this simply something that happens. I do not want to become a statistic. for those of you who have read that other thread, you know how much I love this man. How sweet and wonderful he is. I get protective over him when we are away from our home. But it seems that every single time we have been away, he gets nasty. How am I to deal with this. How.
I hope your all well. Know that I am not weak. I am a fool in love.