I don't make her happy anymore

[monkey1141]

Hello,

I am a 27 year old male. My partner and I have been together for 5 years, in January we had a baby girl. She also has a 6 year old boy who I treat like my own.

We have had our ups and downs as any or most couples would say. Lately my significant other has complained she does not feel loved by me, and that she doesn't think we are going to last much longer. We are currently on vacation and all my family here is treating her like family yet she finds things to not like about them. She expresses anger about how she is unhappy and how here life revolves around me. I am a business man with several businesses but I only work a few hours each weej the rest of my time is dedicated to her and our child. I always encourage her to do whatever will make her happy, go back to school, travel etc. But claims I am controlling and keep her from being happy. She also has a problem with drinking, after a couple beers she does not know how to stop and becomes a different person. Sometimes evil. On the plane ride she got furious that I would even take her traveling and complained that she cannot take care of the baby on the plane. She often stresses over the baby and I gladly take over. I do most of the work for our girl (she does not get up at night).

I can't talk to her about anything because if I express my feelings she blows up and becomes hysterical. She is incredibly high maintenance. I don't know what to do.

I want to make a point and say she never was like this, she used to be sweet and liked by everyone. Loudest laugh in the room kind of girl. She wasn't so uptight and downright angry. And for a few hours each day and sometimes entire days she is that way but just like a flip if a switch she changes and finds something to create misery over.

I do everything for her, literally everything I can to make her happy.

I've tried to be more of an asshole thinking maybe she has taken advantage of me but she goes nuclear.

The thought of separation is very sad because of our new born and frankly because i still love her deeply. Should I prepare myself for this? Does anyone have any suggestions? Past experience?

[TheEvilJester]

It definitely sounds like she may need help. I wouldn't necessarily say this is an immediate make or break kind of thing. It could just be she is going through a rough time. So, just do whatever you can to be there for her and hopefully she will get through it, or get the help she needs.

Still, the bottom line is, if this continues and she refuses to do anything to try to get better, then you don't deserve to be treated this way. I can relate, because a lot of what you described reminds me of my ex. For WAY too long, I tried to do what I thought was the right thing and be there for her. But, she never appreciated it in the least bit, and instead treated me like crap just for trying to be there. I made the mistake of still trying to be there, and it got to the point where I couldn't do it anymore and I got sick of her. I don't like the person I became in that relationship, and I really didn't even fully realize it until I got out of the situation.

So, basically my point is that it is okay to be down sometimes. We all go through times like that. But, it is not okay to let it become who you are, and it is not okay to cost other people their chance at happiness. If she refuses to do anything to get herself out of this funk (be that getting help, or just working to get out of it on her own) then you cannot sacrifice your own happiness just to stay with her. I know that can be tough, especially when children are involved. Still, you need to be allowed to find your own happiness in life as well. Hopefully that can include her, but it certainly can't if she is going to just sabotage any chance you have to be happy.

Good luck. I hope it all works out for you, whether that is with her, or if it means moving on.

[Stay 2gether]

I think maybe you all should try some counceling and see if that works but as a woman myself it also sounds like maybe she thinks the grass is greener on the other side because that is usually what some women tend to do when they wanna leave but wanna try to find anything to make it your fault. Honestly it sounds like you are doing your part and if you all just had a baby maybe she is just depressed rite now but if thats not it i would make sure not to continue feeding into her desires and make her work for what she wants since she is high maintenence i understand you got money but maybe she needs to make her own that way she can appreciate all youb do for yall family but i would not keep kissing her ass i would make sure tob stop oingf certain things like you did before and continue to do so until her attitude changes but i really hope all goes well and that she is not trying to see anybody else i guess some women just dont know what they got until its gone!

[monkey1141]

Thanks for responding, places like these can really make the difference. I think a lot of us know the answers to our questions but need someone else to spell it out.

[TablesandChairs]

If what you say is accurate - then my God, what a nightmare of a woman. I'm a woman too - yes, we get hormonal, yes, we get moody...but there's no excuse for what you describe.

Is it post natal depression? Did it start around the time your baby was born? She needs to step up and tell you what the real problem is...it's easy to say 'Maybe she's just a bitch' (and maybe she is) but it could be something more so that warrants some exploration. But she needs to be open and honest...and she needs to be confronted with her behaviour. As in - ask her - do you think the way you behave is okay? Hopefully with enough gentle prompting she can come to her own conclusion that something is wrong.