Break-up Doctor, Ex Factor, and my situation...

[Butchie]

I'm sort of taken aback at how completely the internet is already controlled by every corporation and scammer, and a good example is how you cannot get a simple community review of a lot of the products out there ---- they are all controlled by the companies selling the products.

I just reconnected with an old girlfriend for one night, it was amazing, and she had a mixed reaction after when I wrote a letter saying how much she meant to me but that I REALLY thought we should stop communication from now on.

The thing is, I love her too much (way, way too much) to stay in touch and hear how great her life is going... yet I also care too much to pull this plug, and some might say staying friends is the adult thing --- or at least the more and more accepted thing -- in today's more laid back and accepting society.

Anyway, here's the thing -- she gave me a very mixed message about me pulling away --- said she didn't think it was necessary yet, but that she would honor my wishes...

...HOWEVER, she's been writing me the most - and most-detailed -- letters and texts about her life ever since then. Its like she really values staying close... but I also don't want to be used by her as a back-up plan. (COMMENTS AND ADVICE ABOUT THIS WELCOMED...!)

Anyways, those smart enough to jump ahead might suspect where I am going with this from the title of this post and the first line in it --- my GF's reaction seems to be similar to what those two companies above say they can produce with their wares... but has anyone tried these two services to get your ex back into your life? Does anyone have any idea if their are any REAL ACTUAL reviews anywhere on the internet at all, or are they all controlled by the companies themselves?? Are their any post samples of what they claim to offer? I don't mind paying the $67... I just want to know if they're legitimate and intelligent methods of reconnecting with your ex, and helping you build a stronger attitude to help whether you reconnect or not.

[Butchie]

Well, I'll answer my own question then, by saying that I just purchased the Break-up Doctor, and while there are aspects of it that are good, MANY of the specifics discussed in the sales pitch video are NOT included in the package they sell you for $67, even though it sounds like they are ----- things like specific ways to assess and get back with your ex are NOT included--- instead you must pay MORE and buy ANOTHER level of the program to get that.

I therefore feel safe giving away a link (someone else;s) that they provide as part of the package --- this is an actually good technique for calming yourself down and minimizing both over-reaction and depression if your GF or BF has dumped you... [url=http://eft.mercola.com]Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) - Emotional Health[/url]

[TablesandChairs]

Do you know how many diet pills there are on the market? 1000's. How many of them actually work? Zero. Once you pay your $50-$100, you get a bottle of pills and a leaflet that says 'in conjunction with a calorie controlled diet and exercise'. Erm...

You were right in your initial response - you cannot be 'best buddies' with a recent ex when feelings are involved. Her emailing you detailed accounts of her life is selfish and a sign of her lack of emotional IQ - no one whose been dumped wants to hear that shit! And neither would she, if she was the one nursing a broken heart. Duh.

If I was you, I'd kindly explain the obvious: Hey, I really enjoy keeping in touch with you but I need some time to heal and move on, for my own sake. Breakups are seldom equal territory and while I'm glad you're doing well, I want the same for myself and until such a time, I might have to take some time out...

As for 'winning' people back - if she was the right one, you wouldn't have to do any 'winning' - she'd be there right now. Sometimes, the more you try, the more people pull away because they sense your neediness. If she wanted to break up, that's fine, but the consequences are that you can no longer be her support system and the person she vents to.

[Butchie]

Thanks, Tables... I respect and appreciate your advice... thanks especially for pointing out that her letters -- even though I enjoyed them -- were actually themselves examples of her self-involvement. And maybe that is why so many of her nicest, sweetest friends have had periods when they literally distanced themselves from her for months.... and why all here previous true loves abandoned her after six-months or so. I've become a bit rundown from all this --not sleeping enough -- and sometimes the obvious is not clear to me.

My ex-GF is the most intelligent woman I've ever met (speaks and translates three languages., etc.), but can be immature, aloof and downright rude when it comes to her self-involvement... yet I know she doesn't want to hurt me even though she has several times in the past. I described elsewhere that she told me months before that she felt I was too old for her and despite her career ambitions, that she eventually wants a family and a younger husband, and she stuck by the "expiration date" she set for our relationship when our lease expired, but while I tried to get her to really know and appreciate me, things were tough, until I reminded her that we only had five weeks left --- and then we became closer and closer and spent as many minutes together as we could together -- we've re-united twice (actually four good-byes so far) and we were even closer still (and hotter) together than ever, but no matter how many ways I tell it or she feels, she is gone, and I know that but am still trying to deal with it.

Anyway, this last element -- whether to stay in touch or not, was addressed by my letter to her, and your advice is almost exactly what I said, but we both gave in and started communicating (her first, of course). I simply need to say it again, this time a short text -- basically just what you said.

It's tough to do, and I'll miss her.