Does he have problems?

[mchang521]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 9 months now and we were each other's first everything.
He's a great guy and has almost all the qualities I want in a man but one thing that frustrates me so much is our sex life.
My sex drive is so much higher than his and I wish we could have sex all the time.
He always tells me how attracted he is to me and how horny I make him but when we're both in bed he almost never initiates anything.
and when we finally have sex, it literally lasts about 2 minutes and then he gets soft (and can't get hard again)
It's so frustrating to me and always hurts my feelings because I feel like it's my fault that he can't stay hard.
After he gets soft he always just stares at my body and jerks off while I lay there unsatisfied.
I'm starting to think that he has erectile dysfunction (we're both 25 yrs old)
He would get hard when I give him head but when he's ready to put on condoms, that thing just shrinks all the way back...
and then it takes another 5-10 mins to make him hard again but then after 1-2 mins of intercourse it just goes back to being soft.....
Does he have erectile dysfunction?
He also tells me he doesn't stay hard because he barely feels anything when we have sex. (I don't sleep around, he's the only guy I've been with). he would much rather blow jobs or heads because he feels more that way. (this is what confuses/concerns me most.....)
I don't know how long I can stand this....I know sex isn't everything to a relationship but I just don't know how to deal with this.

[michelle23]

I recommend you go on the pill, both get tested for stds and when you are sure you are both clean-stop using condoms.

I also recommend he sees a therapist coz its likely due to anxiety as well.

And you need to stop taking it personally. Its not your fault or about you.

[Lizziebee]

I really agree with the first part of this post. The problem with condoms is that they numb sensation, which could be part of the problem. As for now if he can get off from masturbating, instead of laying there unsatisfied, join him. My boyfriend can't get off from masturbation alone, but we find it a very fun thing anyway to watch each other masturbate. Plus then, you can be satisfied while still knowing he finds you attractive. Also, if he cares about you enough ask him to talk to his doctor about the problem. Erectile dysfunction can be cause by a lot of different things, it may be as suggested above that it's anxiety, it could be low testosterone, it could be something else or a combination of things. A lot of the problems that could be the cause of it could be solved very easily if he talks to his doctor or just talks to you or a therapist if it is anxiety or stress related.

You need to stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault and if he can masturbate to your body, he's very clearly attracted to you. You do need to talk to him though, tell him how it's making you feel and ask him if he'd be willing to see a doctor or someone to help him figure out the issue. Also seriously try the masturbation thing. You'll both be satisfied at the end then.

[ianinmd2010]

I think there's a very good chance the condoms could be the problem. At least to me, they aren't at all pleasant to wear and the ruin the mood and kill about half the sensation.

[mchang521]

thanks for all the response guys!
I'm on the pill but we still use condoms just to be extra safe.
Maybe I'll talk to him about not using condom once and see how it goes.