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Thread: Needing a guys perspective

  1. #1
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    Needing a guys perspective

    This guy has not unfriended me from Facebook, but continues to ignore me. He used to like talking with me, sometimes while drinking though, but out of guilt he said he would only talk with me while sober.

    He has blamed me for not taking his addictions into account, and has told me that I poked fun at his interests, and that gave him little support in his goals when I did give him support.

    I think the reason he doesn't want to talk it through is because for several weeks he has found my messages annoying, but he did not tell me until I asked him if it bugged him.

    When he told me, I quit it for a day. Then the next day I messaged him, and he messaged me normally, so I thought it was ok until he started ignroing me entirely. So I asked him if it was ok to talk about it and I asked when it would be ok to message because I didn't want to upset him.

    He the told me only two texts a day, but he would not answer any of them. Then he turned condescending about the texting, and told me he did not want to be friends anymore.

    I got upset and wrote him an email and other text messages, not understanding what was going on because he said he liked it them before.

    He answered back and told me it was ok for me to message on fb for now. I told him how I felt, and then he rejected me entirely. We had an argument. After that, he has not talked with me since then and has ignored me because I haven't given him any space when he initiated everything.

    I don't know what is going on, but for some reason I feel it's because I took offense at his stares. Plus he never said he wanted a date or he liked me.

  2. #2
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    How old are you? Anyway, what is going on is that he is not interested in you and has been pushing you away increasingly forcefully while each time while you have been trying to avoid dealing with the emotions of the rejection by trying to talk him round. Occasionally he has felt guilty and relented, but this time he's trying to end it finally. You need to face that he's not interested in you and move on to find someone who is.

  3. #3
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    I am 24 and he is 25. I told him I just wanted to be friends, but he does not see the possibility of a friendship, yet he does not unfriend me from fb. I have had another situation where a guy has blocked me entirely. It was easier for me to get over because I didn't have that sort of connection to him.

    I guess it doesn't matter as long as he just ignores me.

  4. #4
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    Whats wrong with you that you can't take a hint... or, a straight out "leave me alone" from this guy.

    He doesn't want you in his life. That should be enough for you to know that you don't bother him anymore and you get off the computer, off facebook friending people and then expecting some sort of obligation from someone that has clearly told you that he doesn't want you bothering him anymore.

    Go No Contact now and just forget about him while you get of that computer and get out there and meet people in real life that do not have drinking (or other) problems that you nag them about.

    Its over... accept that.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  5. #5
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    What is the matter with you? Are you a stalker or something? This guy is not your boyfriend and is not into you. Leave him alone!

  6. #6
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    He friended me btw.

    I just feel concerned because we were good friends at one time, but if he doesn't want me in his life, I guess I have to accept it.

    Btw there is nothing wrong with me. Being concerned about a relationship is not wrong. No I am not a stalker. I stopped his stuff from going into my news feed so I don't see them because it makes me sad as this just happened recently.

    I came on here for advice, not to be harassed and told there is something wrong with how I feel.

    2nd I never nagged him about his drinking. I told him I had concerns about it, but I never stopped him or told him what to do as it was his decision to make. He was the one who brought it up and told me he and his brother were idiots. Sometimes they would combine alcohol with another sedative type drug to sleep.

    Most of our chats were funny things, but we also talked about the future where our opinions were different and I held some disagreements, but I was never being cynical with him. I was telling him what I thought, but these conversations never ended in a dispute. We were only giving each other advice.
    Last edited by quirkybear47; 16-08-14 at 10:46 AM.

  7. #7
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    [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency]Codependency - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url]

  8. #8
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    This guy is a jerk. It sounds like you're interested in him for some reason anyhow... but he's not worth your time or emotions.

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