Been married two months to my hubby and we still haven't had sex.......

[Kels08]

So my husband and i got married a little over two month ago well he was/is a virgin well anywho we still haven't had sex yet he says he is scared and worried and just nervous and doesn't feel comfortable for some reason. It isn't like i haven't seen him naked or anything so i don't know why he is so scared about having sex granted he is only 24 but i have never heard of any guy doing this before. I am just really unsure what to do and i am not sure how to approach him about this. He works out a lot and we waited for marriage because he is a Christian. We have done oral but it always seems to stop at that. Has anyone dealt with this before? Advice?

[Leialoha1975]

I have not been through this. Is he emotionally ok? Not to want to be sexual may be caused by some insecurities. ???? Anyone else have any thoughts?

[Kels08]

He is 26 and super healthy. I know he was molested as a Kid.

[Leialoha1975]

That may very well be the issue.

[woody]

Sensitive. Don't pressure him. Allow it to be his idea. Suggest therapy for the past hurts if he's willing.
Take your time and allow things to happen naturally and though you may get frustrated do not allow yourself to take it personally; compassion and love. There are many ways to make love. Create a safe environment and just do what comes naturally.
I'm sorry he went through such a horrible thing in his past. I cannot imagine what he must be going through to this day having endured what he went through. Memories can be rough regarding such.
Again, a therapist could do wonders.
Patience.

[Kels08]

I suggested therapy tonight to him and he declined saying he would rather sit down with me one night and just try and work it out.

[woody]

Okay. Well you are his wife now and he, your husband; may you both find a way to share in a comfortable naturally progressive way that bodes well (very well) for both of you.
lots of love all round for you and yours.
Just be patient with him.
good luck

[lovebroken]

Maybe he is scared that he won't please you, or make you orgasm or see he disappoints you since he is a virgin and waited, are you not a virgin? If he could relax more maybe he wouldn't be so worried, what will relax him, ask him?

[Kels08]

Well he sat me down last night and opened up about everything and what happened to him honestly had me in tears.

[lovebroken]

Maybe since he opened up and isn't holding it in anymore soon he will be able to be sexual with you. It must have been difficult to discuss what he has gone through, but did out of love for you. Hope you both continue to move forward together.

[Leialoha1975]

Well he sat me down last night and opened up about everything and what happened to him honestly had me in tears.

I'm glad that he opened up to you about it. Whatever it is, be patient. Good luck to you.

[Kels08]

I honesty don't know where to go from here. Knowing all of this makes me want to treat him gentler then normal. We did do it tonight for the first time and was amazing.

[Leialoha1975]

Take all the time that you can and need to. And it should be amazing every time!!!!!

[adityasingh]

Sensitive. Don't pressure him. Allow it to be his idea. Suggest therapy for the past hurts if he's willing.
Take your time and allow things to happen naturally and though you may get frustrated do not allow yourself to take it personally; compassion and love. There are many ways to make love. Create a safe environment and just do what comes naturally.
I'm sorry he went through such a horrible thing in his past. I cannot imagine what he must be going through to this day having endured what he went through. Memories can be rough regarding such.
Again, a therapist could do wonders.
Patience.

You gave ideas wonderful. I really appreciate you.
Give the time to your partner and Make a beautiful environment around him so that he feel comfortable.
Best of luck for your newly married life.