I had this relationship with this guy when i was 17.
He was my first to have sex with and actually i never regret it.
I knew him since i was 12,we used to go to the same school.
When we started going out he had this accident and now he is on the wheelchair.That means that he is paralyzed.
Our relationship lasted 2 and a half years after the accident(we were staying together in this mother house) and we broke up because my mum was a big pain in the ass(that i will destroy my life if i stay with him bla bla bla)
After we broke i used to go visit him for a long time after that and after 5-6 months we broke up he was trying to get back with me but i was really angry because he accepted this situation between us in the beginning(i mean to break up )and he never said don't break up with me or we should stay together.
So i was not returning back to his calls for 2 months and then Mbam..he had a new Girlfriend.
When i found out about his girlfriend i was crying and calling him to go visit but that never happened.
Now 3 years later,i'm engaged to this guy and we are getting married in October.(my fiance is abroad working)
I started my relationship after 2 months my ex boyfriend had a new relationship.
But my ex boyfriend in April tried to contact me and we had a really nice conversation,he said that he broke up with his girlfriend.
And then i realized that it was wrong for me to start a new relationship back then,It was a really bad move that time,because i never had the chance to realize that i lost my ex boyfriend forever and in order not to feel pain i started a new relationship.
I buried my feelings and its been 5 months now all the feelings came back and i feel more and more love for him everyday.
I know that this is wrong because i'm getting married.Maybe i don't really know what to do with my life,my job but i know that i really LOVE him.
I know what Carrie felt when she said that MR.Big in Sex and the City ,is under her skin .My ex is under my skin and his problem about being paralyzed does not change anything about what i feel.
We had a conversation on the phone for 4 hours.I called him to tell him the truth because no one knows how i feel.Just me..and i thought maybe this is the time to tell him in order to feel better and My ex said that i should bury my feelings again and move on with my fiance and that he is a waste of time and i will never be happy with him because he is on the wheelchair.I already feel better but i'm afraid that i will never forget him and i will feel forever true love for him.
I love my fiance but the feelings that i have for my ex boyfriend are so strong.
I'm afraid that i will get married and have children and i will always think about him..and that doesn't sound or feel right....Right?
We can not be back together.never..And actually i don't want to break up with my fiance..
Please help me..I don't know what to do..