Not sure if she's into me or not

[JTconfuse]

Hello forum,

I have something that has been playing on my mind for a few weeks now. Approximately a month ago, I signed into a contract job and my co-worker is this girl. We worked on this little project together as a pair. I ended up staying at her place (she stays with her parents) because it will be cheaper for me to just stay there instead of commuting to her place to work every day.

She's really nice, caring, compassionate and she knows her morals, at least through my eyes. I've been living at her place for 3 weeks now and got to know her as a person. We sleep in different rooms, nothing sexual or anything. About a week working on this job, she ran into some problems and her life was crumbling. I helped her with some of her problems and thankfully all of these problems were solved. She was really grateful. She tells me how awesome I am and I tell her how awesome she is and that her parents really like me. We share a few interests like personal development and self-help things and we talk quite well with each other. One day, she came out of the bath and she kept smelling her hair, curious, I just grab a small part of her super long hair and smelled it and said it was awesome! Now she asks me if I want to smell her hair whenever she washes them. She even asked me today while we were out shopping and I just told her that we're in public and we had a laugh about it. She ask me if I want to smell her hair in the car which I did and it was intoxicating. She also tells me that after we are done with this project, I am welcome to stay at her place whenever I want to.

I think I may have fallen in love with her which is something I try to avoid because I only know her for 3 weeks. I didn't realize it till one day she said that she's going out for a movie with this guy. A little bit of a background about this guy. This guy is basically the investor into this project and he promised her that if she completes this project, he will invest into her app idea. This guy is really rich and he basically can get anything he wants as long as a currency is in play. Back to the story, she said that this guy invited her to a movie and she's going for it. After the movies, they went back to his place to talk and stuff, not sure if anything sexual happened but probably not because she's quite into the whole "looking for the right man" thing. She still messages me telling me that she's going to his place, she's nodding her head to music in his car, what time she's coming back, etc. and I reply and stuff. I wish to know what they talked about and if anything happened but obviously I can't do that because it might creep her out, with me wanting to know every detail like a creep. About a week after that, he invited her again over to his place but he never showed up to pick her because he was too tired and forgot. She was quite sad and I cheered her up which she noticed and thanked me for it. She had all of her make up on, so she suggested me to snap a few pictures and film something so as to not put the make up to waste. She was so pretty that night and my heart just melted. We stayed up all night talking, waiting for the sun to come up, filming, playing with her dog, etc. The day after that, he invited her over and she was too tired, so she declined. Then today, he invited her to a movie and she immediately went to put her make up on and left for the theatre, probably she will be brought to his place again.

Anyway I didn't realize that I liked her till jealousy took over me whenever he invites her out. After she left, her father passed by the living room and asked me if I was alright (I hope he didn't realise that I am interested in his daughter) and I was like, "Yea I'm fine" and I put on a smile that is just one of the hardest thing I had to do. Like... I don't know anymore... is she just going out with this guy to get him to like her and invest into her idea, or is she really into this guy? Also is she into me at all? I wish to say that I do not have feelings for her and I see her as a really good friend. I am not even sure if I am lying to myself. If I advance on this now, I may lose her as a friend or make things awkward, so I am taking this slow. Am I taking too slow to a point where I may lose her to that guy? Also was I just too nice to her to a point where I get friendzoned because I hear that being nice to somebody gets you friendzoned pretty quickly. That's who I am though, I care about other people, especially somebody that I have a crush on, so I can't help it. My friends tell me that I should tell her that I like her but I think it's too soon and it might freak her out. These same friends also told me that I have been friendzoned... hard. By now you should see how confused I am about all this. One night, I prayed to God, like literally, knelt on the floor and pray that He give me strength and patience to get through this feeling of unease or show me an answer. Please help me see things more clearly. I will really appreciate it.

[Whisteria]

What your friends said is true, living with her is what creates that friendzone as well because you get to know the person so well and also because you live with their parents is not to just jump in and say hey we are boyfriend and girlfriend. Although it is hard, in your case just be yourself and find another friend while working with her, it takes time to get over it. Just let her spill the beans to you if something ever comes up or if you really want to know what's going on ask her indirect questions that fulfil your answers. And yes tell her how you feel, sometimes girls are seriously oblivious to the actions we give to them as a "friend", they do not know until they are told straight.

Perfect example Guy: "he likes you" Girl: "no he doesn't he's just really nice"

That is total bull**** all guys know it, however your personality does give you a slight weakness, so next time you meet another person take a bit more of control by being a little more straight forward do not be passive, that will result in freindzone again.

[JTconfuse]

So, basically that's the end of the road on this one.

Might as well enjoy her company till this whole project is over. Will things get awkward if I actually tell her about how I feel? That is quite a daunting task. hahaha

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So let me get this straight - the nicer I am to girls, the more likely I get friendzoned?? How should I behave then. The confusion is real...

[Whisteria]

How you feel when you talk to her and what you say can determine if she knows you like her or not. It depends on what you say and everyone is different, you could try something like "I wish i could meet someone like you" even though thats a little more direct but again it depends on yourself and situation. Do not use that line just because i said it, everything you say and do is a learning process and you must learn yourself! Not told by another person!

Just don't be too nice, give a bit of push and shove with the words you play with. Be flirty, see how close she comes to you, what her reaction is and at times make a move! In my own opinion, always try before giving up and learn from that, if you get rejection from a girl its not a big deal unless you make it one. Show what differentiates you from typical guys =]

[JTconfuse]

One time while we were having lunch, she did mention that she's not looking for any relationship at the moment because she wants to focus on her app. That could have made everything clear. Hahaha... Now I am just laughing at how dumb I am, for feeling this way and for being a nice guy. Some people say that if somebody doesn't like you for being who you are, then F them and move on. If this is the case, then I will move on, but for now, I will probably be drowned in despair.... again... which flipping sucks.

[Whisteria]

Don't kill the friendship though, keep it because you never know what may happen in future. The invisible person is always noticed once another female has caught him . And yes ask her that question as a joke, is he going to get the app developed for you? Haha and start the conversation like that. The rest just do whatever makes you happy and keep your head up be confident. Happy life

[JTconfuse]

Thanks Whisteria. You're real help.

She just text me after she was done with the movie, asking me how I was doing. I just replied like a bro, said everything was fine, asked her about the movie, asked her to just enjoy the date, basically like a supportive friend lol

Come to think of it, this is just an illusion that my brain created. Yes, she is very nice and awesome but do I see myself being with her? Not really. The feeling is just messing with my head and after that text she sent me asking me how I was and your replies... I realised... she just ain't for me.

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I feel so much better now. Just telling her to enjoy the date. It makes me feel like a good person and it's awesome! Hopefully I don't plunge into despair again for saying that lol

[Whisteria]

You will only fall into despair if you choose to, distinguish between your brain telling you what it wants for satisfaction or what you really want can make a big difference. Though its a process that is not easy to learn. However when you talk to her, make it more interesting and learn from it so that when you come to the same situation with another girl. Your already one step ahead