Your topic sounds really messed up.....she's busy with her life and she is 31, your only turning 20. You have too much time on your hands, to overcome this focus on building your character, future, studies and what you can do to make a difference in your life or even to the world. Dream big and let things come, meet new people and find distractions. You've never met her and only seen her on facebook.....that sounds like just a retarded crush and a phase your going through................
You have to decide for yourself what it is you need to do, read a book and learn new skills don't just focus on the computer.
What you want sometimes may be your brain only seeking the comfort and satisfaction. But what you really want to do with your gut feeling, instinct and heart is reality.