Are you saying that if you are on antidepressants, you can make your relationship work, because you are in a better mood? What emotional nightmares do you show to him that makes him distant? why do you feel these emotional nightmares that you speak of? I don't think it is as easy as saying, "I have these nightmares because I'm off my meds", there are things that you are thinking of that makes you feel these things, what are they? If you can identify these problems, that should be a good start for you.
He who laughs last, thinks the slowest