how should I fix a confidence problem?

[Tone]

Why don't you go get a job even if it's not in your field, a job's a job dude. Get a job, move out on your own, so girls see you're not just a leech with no initiative.

I have to agree with shh... you're lookin for pity when you're not even tryin to make things better for yourself. Stop feelin sorry for yourself and get out there and get a job and I'm sure things will follow. Good luck~

Edit: And to only want the "Oh poor thing!" and sympathy replies.. c'mon man.. the truth might hurt but it's the truth. Be grateful she's being honest with you and tellin you how it is, and maybe actually open your mind up to what she said and realize "Hey. I am a 27 year old man living with my parents with no job. Let me do somethin about that"

[shh!]

DUDE!

When it rains, it pours. BUT, we have umbrellas.

OR **** it.

Jump in the rain and drink some pina coladas.

Barry Manilow fan? (haha)

[artyemi]

Barry Manilow fan? (haha)

Who's Barry Manilow? (This is a serious question, by the way.-- Shucks, I'll just google him so I don't seem ignorant.)

[shh!]

(singing)

"If you like pina coladas,
and getting caught in the rain..."

I hear he's big in Las Vegas now... I can't believe you didn't know him when you posted that response - what a coincidence! (He kinda sucks, by the way. Cheesy 70's music, but popular amongst dorks.)

[Chlorine]

mtnjason19----As a start, continue searching for a job. Once you starting working, it'll give you something to focus on, provide some structure to your life.

Where you live/who you date...that can fall into place later.

Good luck.

[artyemi]

oh.. so he sand that song? cool.

and yes! Good Luck MTN.

[mtnjason19]

Why don't you go get a job even if it's not in your field, a job's a job dude. Get a job, move out on your own, so girls see you're not just a leech with no initiative.

I have to agree with shh... you're lookin for pity when you're not even tryin to make things better for yourself. Stop feelin sorry for yourself and get out there and get a job and I'm sure things will follow. Good luck~

Edit: And to only want the "Oh poor thing!" and sympathy replies.. c'mon man.. the truth might hurt but it's the truth. Be grateful she's being honest with you and tellin you how it is, and maybe actually open your mind up to what she said and realize "Hey. I am a 27 year old man living with my parents with no job. Let me do somethin about that"

Both you and SHHH are right. The only person that can really help me, is me. I m sure everybody at some point has been knocked off the horse, its a matter of how fast you get back on it.

[Tone]

Yeah man I can definately relate... I felt bad and like a bum when I had to move back home with my mom cause I had lost my job and my girl left me and blah blah and I spent a little time feelin sorry for myself, then I realized that hey, the only one who can turn this around is me, so I went out, got a job, moved out, and now waiting for Arty to move to NE :)

But in all seriousness, EVERYONE has their low-points in life, but just trust that it can and will get better. You never know what tomorrow might bring.

[Only-virgins]

What a bunch of bull-shit. Guys can marry for money as well. Some of you are idiots....sorry but like shh! said...the truth sometimes hurts. You think you know everything but you dont. A guy can say no to a girl who lives with her parents and is a mooch as well. Everything goes both ways. The poster says he is the only one who can help him-self ...and thats good....but not to doubt you or anything but your not going to do anything about it if you have not all-ready. I mean...you MIGHT....but I doubt it.

[artyemi]

Yeah man I can definately relate... I felt bad and like a bum when I had to move back home with my mom cause I had lost my job and my girl left me and blah blah and I spent a little time feelin sorry for myself, then I realized that hey, the only one who can turn this around is me, so I went out, got a job, moved out, and now waiting for Arty to move to NE

But in all seriousness, EVERYONE has their low-points in life, but just trust that it can and will get better. You never know what tomorrow might bring.

awwwwww... you sweet, sweet man.
First you risk life and limb to take that picture.
The crazy things you do!

MTN, I hope you get back on the saddle quickly. We'll certainly ride with you along the way.

[Tone]

What a bunch of bull-shit. Guys can marry for money as well. Some of you are idiots....sorry but like shh! said...the truth sometimes hurts. You think you know everything but you dont. A guy can say no to a girl who lives with her parents and is a mooch as well. Everything goes both ways.

What exactly are you referring to sir?

The poster says he is the only one who can help him-self ...and thats good....but not to doubt you or anything but your not going to do anything about it if you have not all-ready. I mean...you MIGHT....but I doubt it.

Ah, the young, naive, and inexperienced.

[Only-virgins]

What exactly are you referring to sir?

The fact how everyone is believing all the stupid shit shh! told him. Its stupid. If your going to become successfull then do it for-yourself and not because you want to get girls. Girls should come with out the success. That clearly not his problem...maybe hes just asking girls out that dont like him in the first place? ..more logical if you ask me. No one even asked if the girls are in his age either...trend is to date MUCH younger anyways for guys. Its some "truth" as she/he calls it...lies...lies....lots of lies. I am sure there are girls who looks for stuff like money, house, independence because they want a family but no one asked if thats the kind of girl this guy wants. I for sure as hell dont ever want kids no matter how much money I have for example...so now what? ..no one out there for me?...lies.

Ah, the young, naive, and inexperienced.

No, just lazy.

[Tone]

The fact how everyone is believing all the stupid shit shh! told him. Its stupid. If your going to become successfull then do it for-yourself and not because you want to get girls. Girls should come with out the success. That clearly not his problem...maybe hes just asking girls out that dont like him in the first place? ..more logical if you ask me. No one even asked if the girls are in his age either...trend is to date MUCH younger anyways for guys. Its some "truth" as she/he calls it...lies...lies....lots of lies. I am sure there are girls who looks for stuff like money, house, independence because they want a family but no one asked if thats the kind of girl this guy wants. I for sure as hell dont ever want kids no matter how much money I have for example...so now what? ..no one out there for me?...lies.

That's not what she was sayin, I think you might have misinterperted it. He asked how to get his confindence back, and she was straight up honest with him, which I prefer rather than people talk same old bullshit to you.

And yeah, who knows, maybe he had no chance with the girls regardless of his current status. And it's not about having money it's about being independent, self-sufficient, and grown up. Why would anyone want to honestly be with someone who is 27 years old living at home with mommy and daddy and have no job? Sure some people would be willing to look past it if given a chance to get to know someone first, but let's be real now... the majority of girls don't want to waste their time with someone who has the appearance of no initiative in life. You never get a second chance to make a first impression. And the first impression you leave, imo, to these girls is: you don't care enough or have made enough effort to improve your own life, why should I think you'd make any effort in our relationship?

[indigosoul]

(singing)

"If you like pina coladas,
and getting caught in the rain..."

I hear he's big in Las Vegas now... I can't believe you didn't know him when you posted that response - what a coincidence! (He kinda sucks, by the way. Cheesy 70's music, but popular amongst dorks.)

HAHAHAHA. Thanks for answering that Shhh... otherwise, obviously, I would have to.

BTW, I think the Barry Manilow version of this song sucks...

[indigosoul]

And I am merely trying to give you the tools to be able to do just that.

Take it or leave it, the fact remains that just because one doesn't like what I say doesn't make it any less true. I have a valid point; even Promise acknowledges this, but perhaps unwittingly, when s/he wrote, "What is so helpful about reitterating what he potentially knows?" (To which I would reply that perhaps he doesn't know, which is why he is asking.)

I am sorry, mtnjason, if my words offend you, but I assume when you ask for advice from strangers, it is because you know that most friends will only tell you what they think you want to hear (rather than offer constructive advice) because they care about not hurting your feelings.

Quite right on both points. And if we didn't want to help, we wouldn't bother answering. Better than those who just want to argue about HOW we answered...

P.S. I had to laugh.. Whoever thinks that Einsteins quotes are trivial has obviously never read his works. By the way, Einstein was at Princeton, not Harvard (and he did his graduate work in Europe).