My boyfriend likes to go out

[oceanbreezz]

Need advice please:

I've been with my boyfriend for a little under 8 months and we've had our ups and downs but have worked through them. Things like him liking other girls photos on social media, him ignoring me when he invites me over, he's always on his phone at dinner, etc but I've addressed the issues and I can see that he's made changes to those issues. He says he wants to be in the relationship even though he admitted to me that he sees it not working out (and then went back on that statement). I'm confused if he is the guy for me. The things I love about our relationship is that he is my bestfriend, we have the same sense of humor, we're really comfortable around each other and we genuinely like being around each other (when we're in the same town, we sleep together every night)

I am 29 and he is turning 28 this coming month. The only reason I bring up age is because I think maybe I'm at a place in my life where I'm ready for love and a life partner. He tells me that he will not tell anyone he loves them until he knows he will marry them, he says he loves me as a person. When we're together, we don't go out to bars or clubs normally. Anytime I go out of town or he goes out of town, he will go out to bars and clubs til 3am. He knows it bothers me but doesn't say or do anything about it. I feel like it's crazy if I ask him not to and I wish he just didn't want to go out. I've been there done that and just don't feel the need to go out any chance I get.

Should I move on or keep trying?? I'm torn.

Thanks!

[andytownsend]

Oh my. This is sort of confusing. I think I sort of know how you feel. How you love the person but they just can't keep the bad habits at bay. What to do? Ask for some space and think deep, long, and hard. The only person who can answer this is you. Weigh pros and cons too. Good luck!

[TheEvilJester]

This is definitely not an easy one. It never is. On the surface, it sounds like you two make a great match. You get along very well, and have even successfully worked through some issues between you. That is the sort of thing that often destroys relationships, but you two were able to champion through it.

But, the truth is, that isn't necessarily always enough. You two could otherwise be a great match, but if you are just looking for different things in life, or even at different points in your life of knowing what you want, then it could very well mean you are not meant to be together. I know that can be hard. If it seems like you two are so perfect for each other, it seems almost silly to let little things bother you. The problem is realizing which things really ARE little things. Because things you think are "little things" can get much bigger if you don't deal with them in time.

Does he bite his nails and that drives you crazy? That is a good example of a little thing that you certainly shouldn't let hinder the relationship. Do you wants kids and he's not sure? That may seem like a little thing at the time (you may think, he's "not sure" so in time he'll decide he wants kids). That can become a REALLY big thing. What if you want them and his "not sure" turns into "I definitely don't want them?" So, you need to decide are the "little things" really little, or are they things that could become very important?

Not only that, but even if he has the best of intentions, you certainly cannot be expected to wait around forever. If he never wants to say "I love you" and shows no signs of ever thinking you two can become a permanent thing, you deserve better than to just wait around hoping he will. Anyway, unfortunately this is one time where we can offer advice, but really the decision is yours to make. There isn't all that much we can offer in the way of advice. You really need to more so decide what is important to you, and decide if it seems like this relationship could fulfill that. Good luck! :-)