I'm just wondering on how I should handle this situation.
Brief background:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We are both right around 30 years old. Growing up, my boyfriend was very close with his grandparents. They died before we met, so I never had the chance to meet them. Since we met, his gift giving has always left a bit to be desired. He would give me nick-knacks and stuff that I don't want or know what to do with. I always tell him thank you, but I'm always disappointed. It's not about the price of the gift...its about the effort put in and knowing me to know what I like.
A couple years ago for my birthday or an anniversary (I don't remember which), my boyfriend got me flowers and wrapped around the vase was a cloth/handkerchief. He told me that it used to be his grandmothers and he wanted me to have it. I thought that was a very touching and sweet gesture. I know how close they were so him giving that to me was special. It said something about how he felt in our relationship for him to give me something of hers. It was special.
Fast forward to our recent anniversary and my boyfriend got me flowers which were very pretty. Sitting on our table was a wrapped box (8" x 8" or so). He said I got you something. I kind of got excited thinking he may have really gotten me something or thrown a little romance in. So I open the box and it is a tiny ceramic heart potpourri dish that used to be his grandmothers. I said thanks, but asked what I would do with it. He said I could use it to put my necklace in it when I'm not wearing it (I always wear the same necklace). Since it was his grandmas I didn't want to seem ungrateful so I didn't say anything.
I also just had a birthday. He said I got you something. I open the gift and it is an old 1960's cookbook that his grandfather gave to his grandmother. I said "Thanks, that's cool" He said the books not the cool part..look at the inscription. So I opened the cover and his grandfather had written "given to my wife...not that she needs it. Your loving husband." He thought it was such a special gift, but I look at it and it's just an old cookbook. He said that I didn't seem excited (I wasn't). I said it was nice. I get the feeling I offended him.
I don't know how to handle this situation. I know he gives me these things with the best of intentions. The first time he gave me his grandmothers handkerchief it was special, but this constant gift giving of this stuff bothers me. I understand he has a sentimental attachment to it, but I don't. I never met them and I don't want to keep accumulating stuff that I don't want/need. I feel like I have to pretend that I like it, but the only value this stuff has to me is the fact that it's special to him.
I can't tell if him giving me this stuff is just a cheap way for him to give me a gift (I feel like he just rummages through old boxes and pulls something out), or if he truly believes that it is special to me and I want it. The only reason it would be special to me is because he believes I am special enough to be given something of his grandparents.
I don't know how to tell him any of this. He is a great guy who I love and I KNOW he loves me. I just wish he could give me a normal gift and put in some effort into something I want. I want to look at a gift from him and think of him, not his grandparents. I don't want to hurt or offend him. Anyone have any advice?