How important are gifts to you?

[Lucinda]

Hi everyone,

I want to know how important you feel receiving gifts from your other half are? Whether the gift is for a special occasion or not, do you think it shows how much that person cares for you or loves you? Or on the contrary, do you feel like their love is gift enough?
The reason why I'm asking is because my boyfriend of over a year has never gotten me a gift, apart from when he went on holiday with his friends, I got a couple of souvenirs. However, my birthday and other occasions such as our one year anniversary, nothing. I have never questioned it because I know he's a student and has other priorities before spending money on gifts. However, his sister's birthday is coming up and he has expressed interest in getting her a present despite complaining about financial problems, it was only when he mentioned that, that I thought about all of this.

Am I overthinking this or do I have a right to be a little upset?

[TablesandChairs]

I've never dated a guy who didn't get me a birthday gift so your situation is alien to me. Seriously - not even something within his budget, no matter how cheap? Nothing? That's pretty slack.

[purple_roses]

No birthday or anniversary gift is a bit of a buzz kill.. I would be upset. Did he at least take u out for dinner or something?

[Lucinda]

I've never dated a guy who didn't get me a birthday gift so your situation is alien to me. Seriously - not even something within his budget, no matter how cheap? Nothing? That's pretty slack.

Nope, he's not well off at all so I've always put it down to that and understood. But it does come to a point when you begin to think that there must have been some missed opportunities from his side right?

- - - Updated - - -

No birthday or anniversary gift is a bit of a buzz kill.. I would be upset. Did he at least take u out for dinner or something?

Well, at the time, we were long distance as he was working away so we were separate, and my birthday and our anniversary are very close in dates. So no, he didn't, I've tried to be positive about it but it's getting harder as time goes by.

[TablesandChairs]

I don't know what your relationship is like overall, but I think some effort needs to be made on his behalf in this department. It doesn't have to cost much; my first partner was a student when we met (as was I) - on my birthday, he made me something that I still have, several years later - a jewellery box (more or less just a box) but painted with an inscription inside. He would make his own cards and instead of taking me out to dinner, he'd cook it himself or we'd go on a budget picnic...

It's the little things - a partners birthday should be made special somehow, even if you only have $15.00 to spare. I just feel that getting you absolutely zero is negligent, unthoughtful and ultimately very uncreative, there's a lot you can do with little money.

[Lucinda]

I don't know what your relationship is like overall, but I think some effort needs to be made on his behalf in this department. It doesn't have to cost much; my first partner was a student when we met (as was I) - on my birthday, he made me something that I still have, several years later - a jewellery box (more or less just a box) but painted with an inscription inside. He would make his own cards and instead of taking me out to dinner, he'd cook it himself or we'd go on a budget picnic...

It's the little things - a partners birthday should be made special somehow, even if you only have $15.00 to spare. I just feel that getting you absolutely zero is negligent, unthoughtful and ultimately very uncreative, there's a lot you can do with little money.

I agree with you and thank you for your input, I just don't know how to bring this up to him without making it look like I'm selfish/not understanding of his situation.

[Incognito030707]

Asking how he can afford a gift for his sister is a way to bring it up. Or you can take the direct approach and just ask why he never gets you anything after its been a year ( granted that is only one anniversary and one birthday). Gifts aren't all about the money spent, they are also about expressing your feelings for someone. Any mature adult should know this. What [does] he do to express his love?