Brainwashed into falling in love

[anonymous54]

I have a very interesting situation...

I've always been a playboy and never wanted a relationship until recently. I met this girl, named Kate who instantly fell in love with me. She was crying over a recent breakup that day, so after coming over we kissed and got her naked on my bed. She has been a virgin her whole life until her most recent relationship that didn't work out, so that's a big deal for her to do; especially with someone she just met.

Anyway, by the next day, I got loads of texts telling me how much she loves me and has a feeling I'm the one... she was saying tons of things like "you're the missing piece to my life" and "I want to marry you" etc etc

I thought she was nuts. I would wake up to 30-40 text messages from her each morning. Clinger TO THE MAX.

My question and concern now is, after 7 months, we are still together, and I am in love with her....but is it really love? I have never even given a girl a chance to date me before, so now having a girl around is different for me. I'm afraid that she somehow BRAINWASHED ME into loving her. It was strange but a bit flattering at first, and now it's addictive. Is this real love? I mean I love her a lot, but is it really MARRIAGE POTENTIAL?

I have a feeling that I was only a rebound guy and that she loves me not because of me but because of what we did that first night. You know how women catch feelings after having sex, especially when she was crying day in and day out over her breakup (the guy physically abused her too, to top it all off) Should I be in love with a girl that is so quick to fall in love and attach to another guy?

Am I just comfortable and now used to being with her that I'm mistaking this for love? Did she brainwash me? The texts and messages and calls would go on for hours, and it was so repetitive that I feel somehow it influenced the way I feel. I want to be with a girl because I chose her and truly think she's the one for me, not with a girl who I didn't even care to see again but after much persistence I finally gave in.

I know she really loves me, there's no question about it. I just feel like she was so desperate to find someone to love and marry that I happened to be the next guy to come across in her life. I tried the dating other people thing, but just the thought of bringing it up will get her on her knees begging me not to do it. And because I love her, I hate seeing her cry her eyes out because of it. There is breaking up with her, which on one level sounds like it could be beneficial, but on another level makes me feel like I could be making a huge mistake as well.

I'm really confused. Can anyone give me some ideas on what I can do? I feel like even though I love her and can't see life without her, that it's because she was so persistent and around me now so often that my mind has gotten used to her company...NOT because she is theoretically the perfect girl for me (let alone the one I should marry)

[TheEvilJester]

It's a little too late for the advice I would give you. I would have said you never want to get involved with a girl right after she went through a break-up. She needs time to heal and get over things, just like anybody would. People are very vulnerable after a break-up, and it could very well be that she was just looking for somebody to fill that hole, when she should have learned she needs to fill that herself before she tries again.

Does she really love you, or are you just a rebound? Unfortunately, now that you are already together, only time will truly tell that. Since you are already together and have been for a while, I would say you just need to proceed with extreme caution. I mean, it could very well be that you two truly ARE meant for each other. So, I wouldn't recommend you throw that away without giving her a chance. The thing is, without time it is hard to tell.

The way she acted after you two first hooked up certainly isn't promising. We all go a little crazy when we feel in love, but even that was a bit much. That is a bit of a red flag in the first place.

As for whether or not you really love her, only you can really answer that. You can't be "brain-washed" into loving somebody. However, you can become used to the idea of somebody being so adamant about loving you. It can be very flattering and feel nice, and then can cause you to think you should be with the person when maybe you shouldn't. So, only you can really answer if you truly feel like the two of you should be together or not.

Good luck!

[purple_roses]

It seems like you do care for her a lot because u put up with her obsessiveness and u also said u don't want to see her cry. So I think u do have feelings. Also the fact that its been going on for seven months. Most guys would run to the hills with a girl being that clingy.
Your convinced she's in love with you, but Idk 30 texts and being obsessed with you, sounds more like she has serious issues. Also jumping from one relationship to the next in one day is not a good idea either. Idk have fun I guess.. I feel your emotions are real. But I'm not convinced she's truly in love with you. Even though u think she is. I just hope she's on birth control and doesn't stop taking it because she sounds like the type to get pregnant so she can keep the guy in her life forever. Goodluck.