What does she really want?

[Charis]

Here's my story, please tell me your opinion, I am really confused...

I met a girl last year, she was a colleague. We became normal friends but I was not interested to be more than friends. In one of our social gatherings, I met her older sister and it was just finding my other half. I started talking with her on the phone for a couple of times and we went out. I treated her very well & she was very nice to me. Then, she asked me one day what my plan is? Is it just to make her sister jealous or what? I told her that I really like her and I do not want her sister to be anything more than a friend to me.

She told me it is very hard for her to like me back as her sister is in love with me & she feels it might be a betrayal to her, also she is 8 years older than me but her sister is younger than me, so she said everyone will think that she has stole me. I tried my best to make these thoughts go away but couldn't make it better.

We kept going out and I cut all the ties to her sister. I also told her sister that I am really interested in her elder sister and not her.

The thing is after one year, I don't know where I stand, one day she says we can become close another day she says she's disgusted by the thoughts. We have gone on trips together (nobody knew about), have kissed, cuddled, slept in the same bed topless together, went to second base but never made it to intercourse (she told me she is not ready, then again she said it's wrong to do so & ...).

What does she want? How can I make her come clean about her feelings? Is there something I don't understand? What can I do to make things better?

[lissa]

You don't deserve this treatment. I know you are really into this woman, but she's making you crazy. It could be insecurity on her part, or feeling like she owes her sister something, trying to manipulate you, many different things are possible... but the fact of the matter is that she's constantly giving you a hard time when you've done nothing wrong. I think you need to have a serious talk with her and tell her that this subject has to end - either you are officially a couple and she drops the topic of her sister, or it's over. Do it for your own self respect. You can definitely find another good woman who won't put you through all this shit.

[Charis]

You are absolutely right on making me crazy part. It's terrible when I don't know if I have to leave or stay, care or cut her loose...
I have tried to talk to her but she avoids the conversation & the most I have gotten out of her is that she is not sure.
She says no, then when I want to abandon this relation she does something opposite. Then again if I tell her what did it mean? She says nothing!
We live in a small town with nosy people. Sometimes I think maybe she is right since people will judge her based on nothing, also her sister has told everyone about me and how much she wants me but then again, to hell with people, right?
I feel like she has made me a junkie, she acts like a dealer who gives me a joint whenever I want to go to remission...